L O V E

2010-08-28T05:18:00.001-07:00

after 5 long months , i've decided to drop by my old rusty blog . for whatever purpose , i don't know ? haha .

Others.

2010-03-27T22:48:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know , I went missing from home for almost a month . At that point of time , I was hating how my life was going , the fact that everybody didn't seem to care about me . It's true . People constantly remind me to stay positive and look at the brightside , but come on , tell me , when you're in that situation , who wouldn't think negatively. It's not as if we deliberately wanted to think that way but it's somehow a natural reaction . I have difficulty understanding human personalities . In a minute they act this way and in the next minute , they act differently. Split personality they call it. Somehow , i felt that , people just tend to be concern about me , but they have tricks up their sleeves. That's how I am . I like to misjudge people. I tend to give a different interpretation of that someone and end up finding that I was wrong. It happens all the time. Those who were my enemies are now my true friends and those who I thought were my true friends turns out to be my foe. Pathetic much ?I don't really care much now , I just let life takes it own course . And do its own thang .What I know is , I will only care and love those who truly care and appreciate me .

With Love ,
Sasha Chulun

2010-02-25T06:44:00.000-08:00

MOVED .

ask or tag me if you want the link to the other blogs.

Ain't publicising it here. ^^

(Psst ! Don't be shy to ask! )

xoxo

2010-02-24T04:55:00.000-08:00

GONNA STOP BLOGGING .

byebye.

Heartbroken.

2010-02-23T00:50:00.001-08:00

Fuck these days. I've never feel so depressed. I've never felt so restless. I've never felt so cheated. I've never felt like a fool. I've never felt useless. I've never cheated myself. I've never felt so fake.

I'm changing my interest. I don't give a fuck to what others might say.
And fuck all those guys out there who simply don't understand how to appreciate girls who really love them . Fuck all of you who don't appreciate true love. Fuck all of you who thinks love is just a game.

Fuck all those guys who thinks there's no reason for girls to be in this world . We are not your fucking dolls. Be it your friend , crush , girlfriend , never play with a girl's feelings . Don't make them look like a fucking fool . Don't ever tease . Get the fucking facts?

Don't even fucking think that guys are fucking great.

You guys are the true fools. Never being appreciative at all ?

Ah fuck , I've never felt so cheated before. What do you think I am ?
Fucker. You know, it was already good that I've been looking forward to see you , and you play this stupid game with me? Don't even fucking go there . Now get this in your fucking mind. I fucking hate you . I fucking hate you .

To you and your friends , it may be funny , it may be a joke .
But please , you people are older than me , you ought to use your fucking brains to think ! What's with these childish games huh ? You think it is funny ?
Fucker .

To you and whoever that texted me .
Fuck you !
And I fucking pray that life can never be blissful for you.
Take care fuckers. _|_

2010-02-22T04:25:00.000-08:00

10 Things You Wish You Could Say to 10 Different People Right Now:
1. I love you . - H
2. I miss you babey ! - Watee
3. I miss you so much dear. When are we gonna hang out ? - Ahtee
4. Where have you been all this while ? I love you . - Papa
5. Can we be like how we used to be ? - LB . 6. Can you stop bugging my life ? - S
7. Happy Sweet 16 ! - KIDKIN !
8. Make sure esok naqmu paitao ! - Ashraf.
9. Lebih pentingkan kawan dari family ? Ape ni ? - A
10. I don't want to study , stop forcing me can ? - MC

9 Things People May Not Know About You:
1. I love to dance and sing out loud in the shower
2. I hate people who are fucking irritating . _|_
3. I love to eat. REALLY !
4. I have frequent mood swings
5. I get angry VERY easily
6. I'm not as strong as you think I am
7. I tend to cry almost over the slightest thing
8. I love to sleep
9. I have committed crimes , alot .

8 Ways To Win Your Heart:
1. Don't be irritating .
2. Always there for me .
3. Care for me.
4. Always say that you love me
5. Funny .
6. Sweet !
7. Very understanding .
8. I LOVE TO BE KISSED ON THE FOREHEAD (:

7 Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot:
1. What the fuck is this person thinking ?
2. Do I look okay ?
3. Is he thinking about me as much as I am ?
4. KIAMAT
5. How do people think of me ?
6. Do my friends miss me as much as i miss them ?
7. Are the people around me appreciative of whaht I have done for them ?

6 Things You Do Before You Fall Asleep (not in order):
1. Text the person I love.
2. Listen to songs till I sleep .
3. Cry myself to sleep
4. Hug my Teddy Bear , a gift from someone .
5. Think what's going to happen tmr
6. Spread my legs and arms widely !

5 Characteristics You Value:
1. Understanding
2. Sincerity
3. Enthusiastic
4. Friendliness
5. Honesty

4 Songs to Describe Your Life:
1.Gone-Nsync
2. Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart- Alicia Keys
3. There's Gotta Be More To Life - Stacie Orrico
4. The Way That I Love You - Ashanti

3 Things You Wish You Never Did:
1. Take the thing .
2. Do that thing .
3. Let myself be naive .

2 Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
1. Be in my Mum's arms
2. Apologise to my Mum

1 Confession: 1. Do you know that I really love you and I want you to understand this . This ain't just normal crushes but it's true feelings from me to you . I really really love you .

Ahtee , Kiro Sanchi , Arch , Khai Jepon .

Do you guys know just how much I fucking miss every single one of you ? Do you have any idea ? I miss all those crazy times we had last year ! All those laughters , tears , jokes . I miss everything . :'( Sorry , but I can't take it any longer . I really really love every single one of you . I don't wish that this will happen to us yknw .

Can we please have another lepak session just like those times ?
I love you guys . I really really do .

Especially Khai since he's not in the same school . But sweetheart , it was sweet of you to have talked to me just now . And i heard you call me sayang ! Haha . Idiot ! I miss you Dino ! I miss miss miss you .

Ahtee ! You know , I know , we've grown a distant apart but you must know you are forever my sister . Ahteesha lives on and on bby . And and , we haven't break yet hor ! Still my scandal , right ? haha . Love you bby !

Arch ! Haha , i miss those times we argue haha ! And those times we do crazy stuffs and actions . Haha . I miss you eh ! You got miss me or not ?! Haha , love you bitch ! Mwarks !

Kiro ! My best brother . Haha . B , you dah sombong sia now . Ape seyyy . Nampak I pon tknk tegur . Kate boyfriend I 24/7 . Beh you dah tak layan I sey b . I tau lah kadang-kadang i tak reply your msg , tpy tkya buat gini pe :P Hehe , sayang you b !

See , i love my LB!
And I miss those times we rocked at Ping Pong .
Rewind , Rewind , Rewind , Rewind . hehe .
Remember ?

Remember , I swore and vowed this .
LB ; Suke Layan Benci Jalan .
Hidop Mati LB .
Wansuay .

I LOVE LB .
I'M A PART OF LB .
AND I'M PROUD OF IT .
AND I LOVE ALL MY LBS BABY .
DON'T YOU DARE BREAK US APART .
CAUSE ONCE A LB , ALWAYS A LB .

They were once my babies , and they will forever be my babies .
They will be the ones that i will NEVER EVER forget . And I swear to God , I love them

2010-02-20T19:15:00.000-08:00

Ni macam kau kate kawan ah ? Skarang sape yang prangai? Kau atau aku? Tak semestinya kau lg tue dari aku, aku kene ikot kate kau. Sorry ah. Aku da berubah? Kau cermin dulu lah sial prangai kau. Tgk ah kau punye org cmne. Tkde care. Tkde life. pelacur pat geylang lagy baek sia dari kau. Beh gini kau kate kawan? Ajar bende2 tk snonoh. Nak kate kau da tue , da mature? Pikir lah sial. Aku tau ape kemampuan kau. Tapi kau tau tak sejauh mane aku nye gile boleh menjadi? Kau expect aku respect kau, tepuk dada tanye sendiri.Cmne kau nye care ngan aku? Stakat nak buat pakai buang, sori ah, salah orang ah girl. Mau sarcastic , aku pon boleh. Ckp jek ape, eh aku cabar kau lah sundal.Sori , you dont have the slightest fucking idea what's going on behind you ah babe. Kalau kau rase, kawan-kwan kau tu smue sygkn kau, then sorry ah. Salah wire ah beb. Aku da respect kau cam kakak aku sendiri, aku ikot kemahuan kau, gini macam kau blas aku? Eh baek ah. Aku suke care kau. Ingat eh , ade pegi ade balek . Kau nak maen taik ngan aku? Aku boleh kasi kau taik lah eh. Gi jahanam ngan kau. Aku sikit pon tkde tkot ngn kau. Ingat eh, rahsia kau smue ade kat tangan aku. Salah sikit jek, kau tgk ah ape jadi kat kau. Tkmo try aku beb. Selame ni aku diam, kau pijak kepale kan? Hah, skarang no more eh beb . no more. Kau blm tau akusiape. So kau diam diam sua. Buat hal sendiri . Buat keje2 kotor yg kau slalu buat tu sudah. Eee, pmpn murah. KIWAK ! geli siol aku . Sumpah siak . Kalau kau ingat smue suke kau , kau salah. Smue kalau boleh nak jauh dari kau. So pikir balek ah girl. Ubah lah prangai kau. Takmo jadi kontol .K? Slamat , bye !:D

Bby, bby, bby .

2010-02-19T19:08:00.000-08:00

Weeewoooo ! Yeah like finally, after waiting for so long. It's official video is out on vevo! Wheeheeeeee ! I lve lve lve the video only that it should have been me instead of that chick ! Nyettt ! Haha . So so , why am I up so early ? Just got back from the doctor's. And boy was it torturing . Woke up, felt very heavy. I wasn't even drinking the day before. Did I ? No it wasn't me. Whatever, that's besides the point. Went to the doc, stop trying to make jokes to make me feel better cause truthfully, it only made it worse -.- How lame can doctors be nowadays huh ? Oh why bother. Anywho, after that went home and now I'm on the comp. Pretty mundane morning. But oh well . Supposed to go out today, but since I'm down with fever , don't even dream that Mummy will allow me out in this condition ! Oh bummer. Fever , fever , go away. Never ever come again . :D Well well, It's 11.20 and boy , I haven't even eat the medicine. It's so , ewwwww , gross . LOL . Really! Haaha . So I guess I'll just stay at home ? Mekkkkkk , mendak pe. Haha . Anyway , idk why , but I'm feeling like , a little heartbroken ,by love . Sigh ;'(

Not again please ?
Mr February , be nice to me till the end . Just a lil bit more to go .

H, i loveyloveyou.

To those with Tumblr , follow me aye .
MyTumblr!

Kerna Skali Cinta , Aku Tetap Cinta

2010-02-18T23:41:00.000-08:00

Kerna Skali Cinta , Aku Tetap Cinta

I miss those times we used to sing this song *cries*

Well well , today school was spent with beloved bad ass chicks ! Yeay ! Love you guys to the max okay ?!
And guess what , SASHA IS BACK HOME AT 2 TODAY !
wahhhhhh . Big deal for me okay .
Okay wanna go karaoke . Bye !

I wanna chat with you leh !
Haiya , so cute .

Oh Shit .

2010-02-18T01:27:00.000-08:00

Look at those senget specs -.-

Okay now where shall I start ?
Obviously, you can see that my skin has changed. But wait ! I'm not the least satisfied with it. Hhurrrr ! I never felt this way before yknw. I mean, I'm always happy with what I've done especially with blogskins, but look! I've lost touch of it. Speaking of I can live without you. Grr , eyy jantan, look what you did to me ? Unforgivable. And one day, you are so gonna have to pay for this. And I bloody mean it laa jerk. pfft.

*curses*

Anyway, gave school a miss today. *smiles* Was too tired. And wasn't in the mood anyway. What more, with the long schedule today .Ah, taknak , taknak ! haha . So, I made full use of the day off. I resisted my temptations and promised myself not to step out of the house for today. And yeay me , I managed to do it perfectly! Helped dyed Sissy's hair .Hehe . Minaaaarep. :P
Well , I still have school tomorrow . Oh shitxz . Nevermind. Only for a few hours , yea , i can manage that. Urgh. It just urks me thinking about school. Why do we even have to go to school? Haha , bloody irritating question I know. But ask yourself laa . I mean , dunia nak kiamat , korang belajar rajin-rajin buat ape ? :P
Haha , I ALWAYS say that , ALWAYS . I mean , come on , you can't deny anything cause it's a bloooddddyyyyy true fact. And that is one thing that you cannot run from. Right ? I mean , who on earth doesn't agree that the world won't end ? Irrinoying much ? Hmmm. So , Mummy wasn't mad cause I went against her wish. Hehe , sorry lah mama . So , texted with Ae.P . He insisted that I go to school. But after reading his text, I rested my head on the pillow , and dozed off . Fuhhhhhh , syiooooooooooook . Haha . It feels so gooooood , to rest yourself , with six pillows around you , and five soft toys all around you. And there you are , sleeping as if you are the king of the world ! *imitating Om Shanti Om*
Haha , the feeling was heaven man ! Mum was like , " aku tak paham lah sya ngan kau . Tidur kol 10 malam pon boleh bangun sampai besok petang . "
Hehe . Sleeping beauty in the making lah Ma . Chill ah . :P Haha , so I've been on the comp since like , 10 in the morning ? Woahhh , tak lame lagi comp meletup ! Haha.

Anyway , today , I constructed my another blog and tumblr . Wheee ! And I karaoke-d today. Gereeeek ! :D

Okayyylah , chao .
I'm missing my boys already ! Adui ! Haha .

Mundane.

2010-02-17T03:47:00.000-08:00

Oh gosh ! School already ? Bummer .
So went to school today . Oh btw ! I did piercing . Where ? Ask me . OKay whatever .
First period was literature and thanks to Lit , it made my day really ! Was happy throughout ! Why you may ask ?
I scored 41 over 50 for the test which Ms Rhodes said that it was a tough paper . So yeay ! Thumbs up for Sasha ! A good sign definitely yup . So then , had Mathematics . Someone's having PMS . Wtf ? You expect us to respect you , then you come in the class shouting for nothing ? Wth ? I seriously don't understand what is YOUR problem . YOUR problem aye miss . Wth . I don't know how am I gonna face two more friggin years with you . I hope not for long ah seriously . TAK LEH ANGKAT SIULSZX ! haha . Then had Physics .....................
Hahahahahhaha . Went somewhere .. lalalalala . :P Haha , so then had recess . Yadayada . Had the Note taking stuff workshop . I swear my eyes were like Boy Sepet . Zul , yknw iknw eh *winks* Hahahah . I was sleeepy .It was draggy to make things worse ! Ended everything at 230 .. Went for Jaguar meeting . It's so disheartening . Don't ask why . I;m not up for it . Pffffft . Can I just quit ? Haha . Can can ? Zaini ade pe . He can lead well yknw ~ Haha . So whatever , met KHAI JEPON ! Missed you alot boy . Really . Haha . Then saw some of them . Especially Black ! He was seriously crazy ah . Haha . saw Sudu also .Hehe . whatever , Met kecyk outside school . Went to Lot . Then to BP . Meet nyna baby ! Hehe . Die rindu aku ! Awww i'm touched . Then we waited for that matrep up there in the picture for forty fucking minutes . _|_ Haha , slacked . then 6plus , he accompanied me to fetch Ain . Then parted ways . And I went homee . Heee . Okay , i'm having stomach cramps . Really . Hurts seriously . Ah fcuk ! Tsk .

Anyway , to that guy up there . Awin Sanchi .
Thanks for being there for me every single time .
Thanks for standing by me .
Thanks for doing crazy stupid silly stuffs with me .
And most of all , thanks for being there in my life .
Love you !
This is also for KecykSmallboii ~!
Love the both of you .
And it's amazing , that I can never get bored seeing the both of you EVERY SINGLE DAY .
Yes , everysingleday , we've been spending time together .
Classic !

And also ,
Watee G !
ILOVEYOU SO MUCH DARLA !

CHALO !

Im not in the mood for proper updates .
Anyway I have another blog where I post all my feelings .
Wanna know ? Ask me !

Gave Up .

2010-02-14T20:40:00.000-08:00

Happy belated Valentines Day to All !

I don't care if others wanna hate me , despise me . Hate me all you want . Cause it won't affect me seriously . But here's the thing , do yourself a favour . Don't be a hypocrite . If you don't like me , leave . No point staying . And I'm saying this in general not referring to anyone in particular . Cause I had enough of stupid shits that will bring you and me nowhere . :D

Okay , so , yesterday , went out to Central Market at Clarke Quay . Ate Burger King and had a walk . There was this booth decorated almost perfectly with it's romantic ambience with it's smooth soothing songs , awwwwh . Haha . Melts me .
I'm really sorry Botak . Cause I could not be your Valentine . :/

Anyway , today going out again ! Wheeee ~!
With Awin Sanchi again lahhhhhhhhhhhh . Hahah .
Takde muke laen . :P
Uhm going Bugis I guess ? And Maybe Town .
Tengok lah mane kaki ni bawak kite . :X

OKay , I guess that's all ?

I had a WEIRD dream last night :/

2010-02-13T22:43:00.000-08:00

Hello ho.
Currently at Awin's crib . Sleptover here . Well , as youh guys know , Friday was one of the worsts night in the history of my life . Sigh , and i still can't get over it . Whatever it is , I enjoyed myself to the fullest last night . Well so , decided to go out with them favourite boys , kecyk and awinsanchi and also Z-kereta . Plan peh plan till it was already 2 . We planned since morning . Haha , kecoh . So at around three went zieqa's house . Plan was to meet up the boys at Lot latest 33o pm. BUt guess what , we dolled ourselves up and rached lot at 5 . Haha , the boys had to wait for us for two tedious hours . Kesian ! So they asked us to treat them to beer and vodka in return . LOL !
So we headed to Bukit Batok . Macdonald first . Then 106 to Town . I swear the bus journey wass fun all the way and I laughed till my stomach hurts ! Was laughing all the way siol ! Haha

" Kite due boleh buat eh ! "
" Mestilah , pasal korang due cacat ! haha ! "

Inside joke larh kay .

Reached town at about 715 . Went 711 . Bought Amsterdam first to start off . Went Ion . Did some 'shopping' . Got myself beads . Haha . Lots of it .Next Cotton On . Got myself a pair of pants . Awin and Kecyk bought the same shades . Then we went to Far East . Had Dinner at KFC . Then met with four guys . Hazli , Ali , Shahril , Qaayuum . I find it like , weird . Everytime me , awin and kecyk go out , WE ARE SURE to make friends with guys from East Side . Last time , it was Bob and gang . Now , Hazli and Gang . Speaking about which , I miss the Vista 5 crew . I mean bob , budi , zul , hariz , mus , najib smue . Sigh! Haha , then we decided to sspent the night togthr , so 'joined forces' lah . Then slacked at Ion . Go 7 eleven . Bought vodkas , beers and whatever . Slacked at garden . Fuhhh , havoc . haha . By then it was close to midnight . Then me and Awin trained to woodlands . Slacked . Reached home at 430 , without even washing off my makeup , i slept . tiredddd doh . now we got no plans as to where to go .
Tmr might be going out .
Okay chao !

iM LAZY TO UPLOAD THE 66 PICTURES THAT WEE TOOOOK.
SAPA MAU LAYAN!!

2010-02-12T20:59:00.000-08:00

Yesterday , was just one of the worst days to date in 2010 . I don't know why , but everything was wrong . And it was the day , I cried alot . Alot . Sigh .
Had performance . Blahblahblah .
I don't wanna talk much really . I'm still hurt by what happened yesterday . REALLY HURT . :'(
I don't know how you're feeling is , but you seriouslly hurt me jerk ! I mean , it was so easy for you to just leave me just like that . I ain't a toy . I have feelings lah Eerfan . The way yyou put those words together , was almost perfect it was like as if you've done it to many girls . You hurt me . Really . What are you trying to do ?!
SELAMA NI EERFAN BUAT APEPON PAT AISYAH , AISYAH DIAM JEK ! TAK PENA NAK COMPLAIN ATAU APE . BEH SKRG NIY , KAU DAH BUAT MAEN AKU , SENANG2 EERFAN NAK JALAN GITU MACAM ? PIKIR SHA TAKDE PRASAAN KE ?!
FAN SUKE KAN , TENGOK SHA MERANE MACAM GYNI !SUKEKAN DENGAR AISYAH NANGES PAT TELEFON ?! FAN SUKE DENGAR SHA PEKIK MACAM ORANG GILE CAM GYTU ? AISYAH TAK TAHAN LAH FAN .

Memang , aku tak leh accept fact ! Nape ?! , cause i loved you so much . Tapi kau sikit pon tkde nak pikir . Family aku tinggalkan aku , ni skrg kau . siape yang aku ade skrg ni ? Aku nak harapkan siape ? Aku sumpah aku benci kau .
Sampai kiamat pon , aku tak akan maafkan kau .
Ingat Eerfan .
SAMPAI KIAMAT PON AKU TAK AKAN MAAFKAN KAU .
Kata akhir dari aku .
Aku kalau dah ludah , tak akan jilat balek .
_|_
Fuck you , and I pray that your life , won't be peaceful . Never at all .
Amin .

2010-02-10T23:03:00.000-08:00

I gave up on love :'(

Holding on to a broken dream

2010-02-08T04:12:00.000-08:00

I've done my part , and there you go talking on the phone , saying I didn't find you . Fuck you . I've been sending umpteen messages to you , thousands of missed calls , and no , you didn't even answer once . And you even dared to say I went missing and stuffs like that . Fuck you . I had enough of this fucking shit . You don't know how much I've been through . You don't have the slightest idea how torturous were my days . You don't have any idea .Do you have any idea what shits were coming out from your mouth just now ? No , I don't think so . The next time , if you think that this is all about me , all about how I've been ruining this , then think again . I'm freaking tired and not even the least strength to even lead my life , yeah my fucking life . I don't even understand why I was being so devoted to you , UNTIL NOW . And yet you still say those words . What on earth is going through your mind ? I don't understand you , really . Sorry , but I think I've been thru tons of shits . Too many too handle . Torturing me . I've been suffering , SUFFERING . Having your name carved on my ankle . Does that proves my love ? I've been thru pain . The cut was deep , I lost alot of blood but hell no , I don't give a fuck to all that . Why ? You know the answer best . I sacrificed everything . You can't and you won't understand what I'm going through now . You shouted at me . Your harsh words killed me . You scolded me . You said all those fucking hurtful words and vulgarities . But I just kept numb . Tell me , who on earth is willing to take all the shits from someone who doesn't appreciate them ? I've been through alot . But you don't realize them do you ? You don't have any idea what you were doing to me ? All the things you did to me , I took it calmly . I felt like , I've lost my dignity having to be scolded and shouted at harshly like that . Think ! Just use your fucking brains and think . It's easy for you to say sorry . " Sorry baby , let's forget everything ." Those usual words . I don't even think it was worth saying all that . You called saying you waited all day for me today . You expect me to come when you don't answer my calls nor have the decency to reply my messages ? What the fuck ? Oh , to make things worse , you switched off your fucking phone ? Is this some kind of joke ? You told me to text you , now I've text . Half an hour ago . Not even a single reply to the two messages . You're sucha freak , dyou know that ? Your idiotic behaviour will bring you nowhere . I wonder what was your three year relationship like . The one that you can't forget . Hah . You're such a joke . Do you even know what is love since you're taking everything so lightly . I don't know what the hell you're thinking of doing but none of this is doing you or me any good . So what's the point ? Hey , come on . You're a year older and you consider yourself as a mature lad . So ? Oh gosh , sucha loser . I don't know why ? But I'm badly affected by this , and you're not making any progress at all to heal this broken heart . There's no reason why I should stay when my life is nothing but shit . Having to lose blood , bearing with all those pain , emotionally and physically worn out . And there you are living life to the fullest . I think it's time we turn the tables. So don't come regretting . Idiot . I'm not gonna go through anymore of your bloody shit . Hoping this comes real hard . So there's no point staying . I'm moving on . You can bring your shitty craps to some other bitches out there who would know the real you . And then you would realize not all GIRLS , NOT ALL , can put up with such attitude . Consider yourself lucky . Shut the fuck up . Shut your trap . everything is all just simply bullshit . You wanna play games ? Come on . I'm ready .
This love .
Sorry , it's going nowhere .
You are nothing , nothing .

I loved you so much .
I don't deserve this .

Goodbye , sweetlove of my life .

AwesomeMuchDay

2010-02-05T19:57:00.000-08:00

Cross Country was disastrous much .
Ugh , just urks me , thinking about it .
BUT !
It was totally like a Deja Vu I SWEAR !
Anywho , i enjoyed the day with my babygs , watee , zcar and nas .
Loveyou babys ! Mwahh !
We were drenched I swear . I was shivering all the way .
What the crap .
Everyone is pretty much fucked up with this year's cross country .
Bagus eh ______ . Bodoh , gy jahanam lah !
I cried . On that day .
Don't ask me why . Hah . :P
I can't remember a single thing ah . Cause _______________ .
Hmmm , hugged Aziman or smething like that ? Uh i can't remember . Shitto . Haha .

Whatever . Let's talk about my weekends shall we ? Haha .
Went out with sweetloves Awin and Kecyq .
Awin slept at my place on Friday night till Sunday . Hah .
First off , went gombak , met Zilah and Kecyq . Proceeded to Westmall .
Blahblahblah .
Then me and Kecyq went Marina .
Don't need to elaborate what happen . Haha .
Summarise , we went to watch a movie .
Tooth fairy .
Excellent movie ! Crack sangat . Hah .
After the movie , something happened . I swear I laughed , and sat in the middle of the Marina square cause my tummy hurt so much cause I laughed so much . Haha . Whatever .
Went Lot after that . In the bus met Brotherlove Adiel ! Hehe . RINDUUUUUUU !
In the bus , soomething happened too , but im too lazy to elaborate but I swear it was funny. So yknw , I had an awesome weekend !
Lol , Today however was a straight downturn .
Worst day !
Urgh . Idiotic much ? uh huh .
I slitted my wrists again . HAHA .
I Swear a massive amount of blood flowed out . Haha .
And I carved something above my ankle which made my leg hurts , whatevr . Blood came out too . So pretty much today , I lost ALOT of blood . Hehe .
And today , ugh , disgusting lah .
Bad day bad day .
Fought alot with alot of people .
Whatever ah .

Not ready at all for school . BOO !

_|_

Goin' Crazy

2010-02-04T03:20:00.000-08:00

I don't get what you want from me . Well , wait before that , this post , is 'dedicated' to you .
I don't get what you want from me . ( haha , it's stupid that I repeated it ) I mean , you say , hell yeah , I can go for other guys , who are WAY better than you , you claimed . But till now , you kept calling me EVERY SINGLE NIGHT , just like how it used to be when we were together . And , I don't understand . I mean , How can I Forget you when the fact is clear that I CAN'T . And , uh , you keep expressing those words to me . And all . I don't get what you want . I don't understand . Come on , quit playing games . White flags up ! I don't wanna play this game if I can't play it my way . Straight to the point honey . Don't go around beating around the bush . One way or another , i'll never get to read your fucking damn mind . Whatever .

And I'm afraid I might lose myself along the way . I'm really afraid . I might look happy , laughing away but not even one single person knows what's going through inside . Well , except for Orange of course , but still . I mean , i'm tired . for once , let 2010 be a year that I can remember all my life . I wanna be happy . HAPPY . I know it's impossible to be happy everysingle second but at least , let majority of my life be filled with laughters and smiles . Instead of sorrow , hurt , anger , revenge , tears . There's only ONE person , who can make me happy . But I shan't reveal anything . I think Orange might know . Sigh . Every single day is a torture since you're gone. Darn it . I'm tired of being exhausted . Lifeless. Even mum agrees .

" Asal ngan kau dik ? Muke pun dah hilang seri . Balik asyik kurung jek dalam bilik . Makan sikit pon taknak . Tak habis2 mengeluh . Balik dengan muke tak bermaya . Asal ni ? "

The exact words that Mummy said . Sigh sigh sigh . I don't know what else to say .
I'm at loss for words .

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No matter how irritating they can get , and how furious I can be of their actions and childisness , they are still the best I've ever known . And I love them to the damn max .
So today , brought pratas and hotdogs to school . Beatbox session again with loves during assembly . LOL . Fun fun , but I'm getting tired of it . But still , never fail to make me laugh . Well , had Malay Lit , ate Curry Puff thruout . And I really ate alot today . Chem test next . Woah tell me about it . I wasn't even close to knowing Chemistry beneath the surface . Oh don't get me going . It's TOTALLY , a major dis-as-ter . THen had maths , Oh , I swear the teacher felt like killing me . HAHA . I was a total jerk during Math . LOL . I mean , I tolerated enough with the class and her . I can't go on like this lah . Like what they say in Singlish , " I keep quiet you make noise , I noisy you make noise " Haha . Well I know I went overboard saying things I shouldn't But im a girl who has problems controlling her anger and I dare you to change me .......... OVER MY DEAD BODY . No one change me and it stays that way . Math lesson turns out to be a buffet session . With Prata , Hotdogs and Fried Rice on the mennuuuuuuu . Delicious . Then Recess . Stayed In class with Izzy , Zaki , Guan Texk and Tikhun which was surprisingly FUN . Physics then . Eerfan was actually hafiz's ex-schoolmate . What a small world ! LOL . Then , uhm , had , CME . Got Math test back and I swear it was a major turnoff for the day . LOL . Haha . But I don't freaking care . Break then . Headed down with Miranda and Izzy . Love these two so much . Had fun ,t alking , making songs and whatever you name it . Haha . Mother Tongue . WAS SLEEPY . So I slept , I don't know how the hell , can AISYAH , sleep in MALAY LANGUAGE lessons . Pathetic ngok ! Haha . VERY RARE . but TRUE . Haha . Soundly sleeping when the vibration of my phone and not forget ringtone woke me up . haha . This number kept on calling . texted , who ? It was Eerfan ^^ . Went toilet with marlina Dearest and then talked on the phone . :D He promised to call tonight . But I'm lazy lah . See lah how . Then yadayada . WEnt Canteen , ate Mee Soto with Hakim . Then , went for dance practice . YEAY ! We managed to complete almost everything but sadly , we have ALOT of things to do . ALOT , i mean it . HAHA . Dance like mad , ,haha . Went home at about 5 with Sulaiha . At the busstop , got a call from this idk number . Haha . It was eerfan . Haha . Again , i was shocked . Hehe . Sanggup eh kau call pakai nombor kawan . So haha , i was happy ^^ . Irritating sia you eerfan . Serious. I jumpe you ............ Hehe , kasi suspense . Mepek . Lol . Went home . Fetched Ain . Here I am . Cross country tmr . I need hotcakes . Haha . Friends know what I mean . ^^ And maybe meeting Eerfan , cause West Coast is like nearby to Kent Ridge Sec .. So we'll see how .
Now I'm going in my room . I have alot to settle .

Tasks :

Karangan Naratif
Karangan Dialog
Steps to CNY performance**
Jaguar Cheerleading**

Yes yes , I'm leading Jaguar again this year . Oh no . Im going nuts .

I NEED SLEEP . PRONTO . SLEEP . SLEEP . SLEEP . ZZZ.

CIAO !

Cinta , terasa ada .

Hard Life .

2010-02-03T04:30:00.000-08:00

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and end with a teardrop

I'm crying right now . Why you may ask ? Haha , too emotional watching Cahaya on Sensasi . Haha ! Well , school today was seriously such a letdown . Every single minute was a damn torture . It was tiring eventhough I realised that I did pretty much nothing . Haha . Whatever it is , so let's start with my morning madness . I always do this , which is by the way , sleeping back after waking up slightly earlier and end up waking up late . Get it ? No ? Your pasal lah . Haha . Then then , rushed off to the busstop . Was lucky to have taken the usual 7 am bus . Haha . Met Watee , went to school . Had Silent Reading . Had a beatboxing segment with Izzy . Haha . Which got us , girls , at the back laughing and all the attention was on us . Yadayada , was fed up between classes with whoever was responsible for doing that . I don't fucking care if you think it was all a game that can keep you laughing . But fuck no it wasn't a game that I think was sensible for guys age like you guys . So think if it was worth doing that stupid lame shit . Go on , wait till you get bored and realised that you're doing some stupid shit and disgracing yourself . Morons . So had , recess , ate Nasi Briyani with Watee . Haha , inside story lah . English , FREEDOM OF SPEECH SESSION .Haha . I wanted to voiced out some stuffs but , I know it isn't worth . So , whatever . Uhm , VE . Did Mary Had A Little Lamb again . Recorded . Heard it in different versions . Funny lah bodoh . Haha . Whatever whatever . Social Studies , Miranda and I was supposed to stay back cause we did not complete our works , but we just rushed out of the class . Haha . IMM and Jurong after that . Lots of laughs with Dearest Miranda and also Best Bro Syeqal :D
I never fail to enjoy and have fun with them . Thanks yo ! And besides having fun , I can actually let out to them , of my problems , and to have someone listening and responding to your problems gives a good feeling . :D Loveyou guys . And to Orange , remember what I said . I'm always here . Loveyou Orange !
Then used Syeqal's troublesome Ezlink to borrow books . Two to be exact . And i'm back to my old self . I've read till page 101 . Which is fast ? Hahahha . Loved books .
Whatever . Now I need to complete my homeworks . Shit shit . !
Karangan and Sastera . Wah sial , mati bodoh ! Hahah .

I took one hour , twenty six minutes to complete this . Pathetic .

boy i love boy i love you .
imma tell you one time ,
boy i love boy i love you .

Iloveyou

2010-02-02T04:32:00.000-08:00

Changed everything . Cause I just felt like it . Hmm , so I'm shagged . Had quite a hectic day despite having finished school super early . Haiyo , must control myself and be more firm on going home almost immediately as soon as I'm dismissed . Well , today , I shall call myself 'guai' . REALLY ! Today didn't do anything stupid or like wrong , or whatever you choose to call it . Pffffft. After school , yadayada . Whatever , life's getting boring . Just leading it for the sake of living life . Mendak bodoh ! Haiyo . Now I'm waiting for Eerfan's call . Hopefully , I get to meet him tomorrow . Crossing my fingers . Lol . I don't know why , these few days , i've been more "self-centered" . It's like , i've been more oblivious to the surrounding and ignore my peers . Like , idk what's happening to me already lah can . Haiyo . I told you , I'm not being myself .

Sorry to whoever it may concern . Gimme some time to cool down and HOPEFULLY i'll be back to my old self . I don't feel like living already lah . Too tired yknw . And It has been verrrrrrrrrrrrrrry pressuring .

Anyway , I've indirectly landed myself into trouble . But it doesn't matter cause beloved cousin needed my help , pronto . I don't mind sacrificing forr someone I love .
These days have been updating myself with current issues that Singaporeans now shows .
Visit this website ; Stomp.

Well , i don't know what else to post liao .
Complete my homeworks now . !

BYEBYE !

Cause baby i still love you , now , forever .

2010-02-01T02:51:00.000-08:00

I am not being myself .
Leave me alone .

Happy First Monthsary Eerfan :'(

2010-01-31T05:41:00.000-08:00

Ya Allah , sumpah penat gile .

These three days has been nothing but fun , tiredness and not forgetting emotional tears of joy . LOL . First and foremost , Norazlyn Ahmad Azeri , Iswardi Idris , Congrats on your marriage , I swear I love the both of you soooooooooooooooo much ! MuahMuach !
Always remember , Aica will be there for you guys forever and ever . Mwahmwah ! :D
So it's gonna be never ending if I were to storytell everything but , oh well the least I can do is just point out the Main Highlights .
The quote throughout the whole event is
" Aku terima nikahnya Norazlyn Binte Ahmad Azeri dengan maskahwin nye Satu Dolar . "

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA .
boy , lu buat lawak lah siol ! Hahah . :P
Well today went very well . Alot of guests came . ALOT .
guest after guest non stop . I swear my feet sore so much . I hate wearing high heels mannnn ! HAhaha . And I ended up walking around barefooted . Tak senoneh betol . Haha . :P
Got to meet Eerfan <33
Then at 3 plus me , Cik Mas , Ika , Abang Eddie, Cik Kamil and wife went over to groom's side , Pandan . met Eerfan lagy . Then went somewhere with him . Lepaskan Rinduuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ! . hhahahaha .:'(

Tmr was supposed to be our memorable day . :'(

There's a thousand words that I could say
To make you come home
Oh, seems so long ago you walked away
Left me alone
I remember what you said to me
You were acting so strange
and maybe I was too blind to see
That you needed a change

Was it something I said
To make you turn away?
To make you walk out and leave me cold
If I could just find a way
To make it so that you were right here
But right now..

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains..

You're gone..
You're gone..
Baby you're gone
Girl you're gone, baby girl, you're gone..
You're gone..
You're...

I don't wanna make excuses, baby
Won't change the fact that you're gone
But if there's something that I could do
Won't you please let me know?
Time is passing so slowly now
Guess that's my life without you
and maybe I could change my every day
But baby I don't want to

So I'll just hang around
and find some things to do
To take my mind off missing you
and I know in my heart
You can't say that you don't love me too
Please say you do

Yeeaah....

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I Drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

You're gone..
You're gone..
You're gone
You're gone...you're gone.. you're....
Gone

Ohhh...

Oh what'll I do
If I can't be with you
Tell me where will I turn to
Baby where will I be
Now that we are apart
Am I still in your heart?
Baby why don't you see?
That I need you here with me
Oohhh...

I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

Been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains

You're gone..
You're gone..
You're gone
You're gone
Gone
You're gone..

But the truth remains
You're....

2010-01-29T22:12:00.000-08:00

WoahhWoahhhh . Finally the day is here man ! Hahaha . Lol . I'm so excited for tonight .
Oh and , Erfan's gonna be here tonight , hopefully . Sigh :'(
Sooooo yesterday , went to school again with Watee . Haha .
Yadayada . Wasn't in the mood . Oh yes ! I remembered .
I wrote three letters . Gonna give it to Erfan later . Hopefully ?
Haha . Okay so , after school went somewhere .
Then went to Watee's house . Had lunch . Hee . Nice , ayam penyet .
Thanks Watee ! And her Mum . Then sent Watee to school back .
Met up with that gile boy up there . Haha .
We went westmall , then slacked there .
Met Khai , Sham , Aziman , Zul and Ashik .
Kecyk , Cha , Mary and Bear pon . THen , blablabla . Im toooooooooo lazy to blog in detail .
And Bear ! I hate you ! HAhahahahha .
He pinched my cheeks till it hurts so bad ! Darn it . HAha .
BUt but , he makes me laugh ! Till my stomach hurts .
at 7 we went to JP . THen went MAkcik's house .
Played swaveboard .
SUMPAH HANCUR ! hahahahahahhaha .
Took videos .
BUROK SIOL ! hahah a.
satu satu tak tau maen oie ! hahahah . klakaklaka.
Then Zaki called . Hehe .
Then then , I slept . At 9 plus ! SUMPAH PENAT .
I didnt realise i was asleep . HAHA .
Then woke up late . LOL .
NOw getting ready for the wedding !
Gonna cry mans !
KAk lyn , i love you hor !
Don't forget me once you're married .
:'(

Bad Day .

2010-01-28T04:28:00.000-08:00

"Ma , nyary date ape ah ? "
"Eh kau gy skola kan ! "

Haha . Well , today was indeed a very dreadful day . See Miranda , I can predict well . Haha . I love my girlfriend , MIRANDA ORANGE ! :D Haha . Well well , so went to school with Watee today . Yay ! Haha . So yadayada . LOL . Had Malay Studies in the morning . Interesting but really I gotta buck up on analysing the Sajak . I mean , I gotta put my emotions to the test . I need to go beneath the surface . Which is for me , a huge task . Sigh . Haha . Chemistry . After that had Mathematics . Miranda and I spent our time talking , mostly letting out , truthfully , holding back my tears . Only Miranda knows why . Sigh . :'( Well , i'm really glad Miranda was there for me almost everytime . Thanks babe ! :D And while others were doing the assignment given , we were there talking . Haha . Recess . Physics after that . Class was yeah , as usual , 'rowdy' but we were praised for our attentiveness and how we responded to the experiment . Thumbs up . Jy ! And thennnnnnn , CME i guess ? Is it ? Can't remember . Talked to Baby . Hehe . ^.^ Break . Sat in class with Miranda . Grrrrrr , tested my patience lah some people . Pfffft . Malay . FUN ! But thanks to Izzie for making my skirt white . GRRRRRR ! And then Ate with Marlilna Hafiz and his Girlfriend . Headed for dance Practice . Managed to complete some steps . Enthu much . But then too tired . And my feet has nasty blisters that are nothing but pain ! AHHHHHHHH ! every step I take with my right leg hurts . I feel like crying lah . Haish . And they sore so much . They bleed toooooooooooooo . Sigh . Then , Baby sent me home :D Hehe . I like I like !
Okayokayokay .

Many said I've changed . And when I say MANY , i mean it . See I don't understand . When I mix around with people , hang out and stuffs , they comment . And when I stop mingling around , mind my own business , they comment . Oh come on ! Why can't I fucking lead my life the way I want it to be . If either ways trouble anyone , then tell me , what should I do ? Yknw , eventhough I seemed different , more to myself , or shall I say , anti-social , i'm happy with the way I am . I don't get it . I don't understand what you people want from me . Im saying this in general not specifically referring to any particular somebody . Sigh . I don't know . Have I really changed ? But i like it better this way . Tak macam dulu , sekarang aku jahat sendiri pe , tak menyusahkan orang . Susahkan diri aku jek kan . Sigh . I don't get it . Well 2010 , i wanna change lah . Please . Sigh . I'm just gonna fucking focus on my studies , I wanna excel in My o's . Im serious . I wanna make Mum proud and be the first to step into Poly ah . Wanna prove to them , np matter how I rebel , i still can pull through . And , and , I wanna focus on Boyfriend too ! :D Okay , itu jek yang penting .

I seriously need my sleep pronto . But Im famished much . Argh shoot !
Tomorrow is Friday . Meeting Beloved cousins ! YEAY ! Happy bodohhhhhhh . Heeh .
Going home with AwinnnnSanchi . Yeay ! I like I Like . Okayyy chao !
To all , i'll link you guys up soon . Sorry loves !
Mirakeai , thanks eh . Kaka okay . don't worry . :D
Two more days to the much awaited Wedding Of The Year ! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ~!
But not excited at all to face 'him' .
:'(

That second time around we had was hard .
Maybe that second time around was not meant for us baby . :'(
Blinded by love , I think I'm damn foolish to go back to you back then ,
only to get my heart broken for the second time .
I wasn't expecting love that will fade over time . :'(
E .

2010-01-27T05:24:00.000-08:00

Wow , how tired I am . Man , if this goes on for days , I might be dead . Touchwood . Whatever it is , ima stop whatever I'm doing right now , it's time to get on the right tracks . Sigh . It's so stressful mayyynnnneeeeee . Sigh , well today was hard to describe . Haha . Had three tests . English , Mathematics and Social Studies . It's a sure fail for Social Studies because I couldn't write at that point of time . Only Hafiz , Khai , Aziman and Hadie knows why . Shh . Well , school ended at 1350 . Went out of school with Izzati , Emmeline , Pris and clans , slacked around . I went home early cause I wasn't feeling well and was very sleepy . Throughout the whole time with them , i was found sleeping almost everywhere . At the void deck , staircase , 'pondok' , you name it . Haha . Tooooooo tired I guess . Should have gone home with Love but ........ don't ask lah . Hahaha . Oh man , I'm so anxious as the wedding date arrives . Oh god , it's almost as if I'm getting married . Sigh , can't believe everything's happening so fast . Oh man , I'm too tired to carry on . I wanna sleep nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ! .
Haha .

Okay Bye Bye !

B , i love you !

2010-01-26T04:53:00.000-08:00

See the two guys up there ?
I swear to God I love the both of them very much .
Thanks to those guys up there who are willing to listen to my problems , see me cry , and cheer me up . They never fail to make my day every single time . And because of this , i really treasure the both of them very very very much . I really really really love the both of them to the damn core . I want them to know that . :D
They are everything to me .
They are all I have .
I am nothing without them .
My blood runs in their veins .
I love them .

Kecyk Small Boi
Awin Sanchi .

LOVE YOU GUYS .

Hidup Mati Sedare !
Cousins For Life !

I HAVE SUCH AWESOME COUSINS .

DO YOU ?

It's that thing called LOVE

2010-01-25T05:48:00.000-08:00

L O V E

So Somehow I didn't start the day off right . Hmmm . So had this small , very very mini tiff with Mummy eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarly in the morning . But then in the car , things were going on fine . Well , I switched my ego mode off I guess . LOL , So mummy sent to school . She did her groceries shopping earlyyyyy in the morning . She bought like , cili padi or whatever all that . Haha . So then went in school blablabla . Literature was depressing since we had to squeeze everything in one period . Thanks to the FEEDBACK EH . Haa . Then then , uhm , Malay was lagy depressing . Totally lost my mood . Felt like slapping that bitch's face I swear . So yadayadyada . Recess , bought stuffs . Didn't eat . Then had English . Uh ? Nothing much . Just that , after recess , our class was full of lovestories . Some of us somehow bonded and I love my dearest classmates , Miranda , Khairul , Aziman , Hafiz , Marcus , Syeqal , Hadie , Zul . Okay skip that . Had Maths then . And seriously , thanks to those dearest classmates of mine , for listening to my problems , and giving suggestions and stuffs like that . Haha . After school went IMM with Miranda and Syeqal . Had Mac . And then , Walked around and lastly settled at the Jurong Library . Did A-Maths with Miranda . SYEQAL PEMALAS . Played his dumbass game . And , I SWEAR , he made me laugh till i had stomach cramps . Idiot . Hahaha . Then then , at 6 went off . Bused to BPP . Sent my skirt . Then , went to fetch Ain . Back home , and back to BPP again . And then back home . Wahhhduuhhhh penat .

BUT TODAY ,
despite my hectic schedule ,
it was a memorable one . ♥

25th January 2010
2220 hours .

Wheeeeeeeeeeee !
I love you baby♥
ShahmiAziz

haaaaaaaaaa . Happy lady i am .
Lol . Byebye !!!!!!!!
Oh wait ,
b , i love you .
Hehe .
BYE !

Exhausteeddddddddd

2010-01-24T05:54:00.000-08:00

Woaaaah . How hectic it was today . My feets sore so much mayne . Nevertheless , enjoyed every single minute of it :D went religious class after being absent for idk how many weeks . SO HAPPY to finally get to see beloved babygs . Haha . Happy style="font-style: italic;">But Khai explained everything and im good . Haha . So spent like about three to four hours there . And then Nina and I walked all the way to Senja . Accompanied her to LAN (?) . She wanted to play comp lahh . Then then , I realised I didn't bring my house keys , pandai kan . So I wasted my time going to Old Chang Kee at BPP . Nina had to go , so met my crazy guy , Acin up there . See , sweet hor ? Hahah , special friend only okay . Haha . Then then , met Idham . We went to Bangkit . Then slacked pat pondok . And then , they went home , Bak came . Slacked till 830pm . Then I went home . Tadaaaaa .And i hate this fucking irritating guy . Pukimak kau lah . _|_ Jantan keps . Macam siak . Haha okay whatever . BYE .

I like that picture above . Wooooots .

Life , Life , Life . -.-

2010-01-23T00:36:00.000-08:00

Okay , now , I know , it's solely my fault that this blog has been very lifeless . I know . It's just that , this three weeks of school has been veryyyyyyy hectic . Really . Well , however I didn't start my first month of school right . For these three weeks , three pink forms meaning I've been late thrice , which is like , bad ? Haha , fourth time , detention baby . Shit , Haha . No full attendance though , was absent once . LOL . Well , Eerfan , idk lah hor . We've not been communicating much cause he's prepaid is running low . Things hasn't been going well , but that doesn't matter cause , he's my everything right now . My all . Well , school has been very wild now . Dah jejak upper sec , prangai...... Haha . Been more laidback . Happy .But VERY wild . Haha . Well , studies has so far been okay . Been understanding everything except Math . Thanks to the class for being noisy . Nevertheless , Im still making an effort and have been self-reliant . Haha . Today alone , and also tomorrow , if there isn't any plans , I have to complete a massive amount of assignments , ten to be exact in which maths involve three of em . Mati sak . Haha . Whatever it is , persevere jek lah . And I shall be promt right now , no delaying . No more procrastinating . Haha . Well , Im missing Eerfan alot . Been two weeks since I last saw him and the last time wasn't a good one . But still , it was very sweet of him okay
Well , I have no more words now . I've stopped contacting all of my friends . The only ones who are in contact are , Zcar , Watee , Idham . And Eerfan too . Well , not really . Cause prepaid die low lah kan . Hmmmm . Well , hopefully we'll be meeting in a week's time . Yeay , on Abang Wadi's and Kak Lynn's wedding , Insya'Allah . Okay chao . I shall complete my homework(S) diligently right now . Tata :D

2010-01-21T18:52:00.000-08:00

STRESS !
Homeworks to be completed within a short time .
So many problems cropped up in life .
Stress . Stress . Stress .

LET'S END THIS .

2010-01-12T17:39:00.000-08:00

Hello !
Haha, i know it has been like decades since i last posted . I know my blog has been rusty . Just that im busy these days . Haahahahah . Really !
And life has been pretty much okay . Hectic I must say . Some problems cropped up but , tryna solve it okeyys .
I miss so many people really . haha .
Especially abang . Lol .
Anyway , i miss baby so much . Lol .
Yes yes , im attached . Huhu . With ?
Haha , you'll soon know .
Anyways , haha , Todays plan will be ........ ?
Hahaahah .
Well , meeting FaezaBby later . After school .
Okay , imbored . I have no idea whud to post already lah .
Okayyyy , byee byeeeee !

Fucked Up

2009-12-25T11:33:00.000-08:00

Well , life , idk it hasn't been in its upmost front but oh well , whud else can i say . I promised myself right , i should never fall in love ever again . Fucking stubborn lah kau sha . Seriously . Nb . Im like fucked up lah seriously. Oh i forgot , hohoho , Merry Christmas to those who are celebrating it . Idk why people are sending me those smses . Like hello , I'm Muslim ey . I don't celebrate Christmas . Nevertheless , it was a public holiday , so i shan't waste my time rotting at home so we , cousins , went to which they claimed to be Singapore's First Eco Mall and I bet the last. Haha , Eco mall lah sangat aircon pon tak rase . Mangkok . Haha . We spent one hour eating and passing motion , two hours arcade . Hahahah . And I swear with the state that the mall's in , which is btw , the aircon that doesn't feel like angin jagung at all , i was perspiring like anj sia . aaaha . We played Arcade and we felt like we were in an oven , Macam siak . Haha . Had hell fun mayne . Haha . We played this game which is so addictive yet challenging plus not to forget , consumes too much energy from us . The balls , instead of shooting it to where it was supposed to be aimed at , it flew all over the place yknw . Hahah . But not to fret , we set the high score okay . HAha , proud , Im actually kinda lazy to post but what to do , im dead bored . Hmm so , perhaps tmr , if ain't gg for the auditions , I might make my way home , restore back the hours of sleep i needed , and hopefully on Sunday we're gonna watch Sanziro's match which is btw , something that is impossible . But yet again , the wait impossible is made of Im-Possible . So there is still hope . :D
im out of words . Oh ya ,

I just gotta say this .
Boy(s) ,
Play me all you want . My heart , i admit will bleed .
Nevertheless , it's gonna make me stronger , cause im a fighter that fights for my rights .
I believe no men shall treat any women the way i am treated now . Lie , hide , all you want but trust me , im a good seeker . The most cunning and unbelievable way you could never think of will be my resolution . So please , never play with my heart. It's fucking fragile . It may break once in a while , but it rather be from someone who has been a part of my life long enough rather than someone who's brains is stuck in his friggin ass and takes love lightly . And please , love doesn't has to be pleased by lust . Cause when I love , I love with all my heart . So please don't break it okey .

Sigh .
I don't know why I've been challenged so much .

Not one , not two .
Five . Macam sial .

Get it ?
Im not talking sense now . Idk whye.
My post seemed different too .
I thought in addition to the festive season Ima have a good solid holiday for once . But say , ex boyfriends , futures , boys , close ones . They spoiled the day , the holiday .
such a turn off for the whole celebration .
See , i never regretted emphasising this.
Boys seriously are jerks . And they are no different to 'dayus' .
Korang telan sua ni kenyataan .
Cousin offered to teach 'them' a lesson but nah , aint necessary . If it ain't me , they gonna hit the stone with someone else . Sedar lah korang sblm kamu disedarkan . HAHA .
And im running low on cash . Way low . Cause it's spent on ________ . Im _________ too much . Shit .

Oh whudever . Chao .

2009-12-24T13:45:00.000-08:00

Well currently at BoonLay up at cousin's crib .
Yesterday out to town with Sister and her boyf together with Khairul and aziman . Fun . Got to catch a movie . Storm Warriors . Syiokkk like hell . Haha . Me and sis cried .buat malu
je siol . haa . Then proceeded to Fajar . Ate mac . Then , went back home . at 2 . Slacked at void deck . Ton . 7 am went up . Slept . Woke up at 5 . Showered . Karaoke . Uncle came . Yadadadada . Proceed to BoonLay , Acin fetched me at Gek Poh . HE was with Jus , Haha . Fucking Fnny . They helped me buy Daun Kesom . Im lazy to elaborate . Then they sent me to my aunts block . Then cousins came . Midnight , we went to Teh Tarik , ate . Went back , Now we all tonnnnnn . Kutuk2 orang . HAHHA . okay whudever . BYE ! :D

Proper post when I get back hor .

Aimi , simcard cepat lah baik ! Ish ..

2009-12-22T06:24:00.000-08:00

Sacrificing my love , for my girlfriend .
I'm happy if she is .

..............................................................................

Am I Crazy Or Falling In Love ?

2009-12-22T03:35:00.000-08:00

Uh Huh , Is it me ? Or am I seriously , crazily , falling in love ? Nahh , just normal crushes . I don't think im ready for yet another relationship . Like I have said for the past few days right , take it slow babey . So here's the problem that lies on me , I got so caught up , falling in love , that I forgot that I should really take it slow . Im like , uh ,it's easy fer me to fall in love . So , Sasha , slow and steady girl . And yes , stick to one . ^.^
Am sticking to one . And I'm happy with whud I have , Okay , wish me luck lar hor . Haha .

Well if I'm going for another one , I want it to be a darn long blissful relationship , just like the one I had with _____ . Oh whud am I thinking , everyone is different . Kayy , so , scrapt that . Haha . I'm missing one of my girlfriends soooooooooooo fucking much .

FADHILAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !

Haha , my Dhilah Meribel babey , Haha . Aku rindu kauuuuuu (!) Haha , yeapp , planning to go out with her realllll soon . And She's gonna bring her guy (?) THEN AKU NAK BAWAK SIAPE ?! Hahahahha , jady tiang lampu sua sha . Hahaha . Oh mayne . Hahahah . :P I miss you babe . I wanna meet youo , camwhore manyak2 , cuci mate, then we gossip , standarddddd . Hahaha . Then we'll be laughing our asses off . Oh gosh , I'm missing those times . Eyyy you ! Sombong ah . You oused to come my house often . Wahh , now da ade balak , forget me eyyy . Ish . Hahaha . Kayy stop it lah sha .

Haha , I know , I'm stress really ,seriously . So many problems , but then , I'm like ? hahah , heeck care . Hahah . Whudever . Okay boyboy ! :PPP

Boy , you got me trippin .
Hell yeah , I'm falling for you .
♥♥♥

Kicked-Ass

2009-12-21T13:28:00.000-08:00

Ignore my fugly face .

Oh dear how I miss that lil sis of mine so much . :'(
And yes , I miss the Sanziros . Shittttyyyy . It has been two weeks since i last saw them and I'm beginning to miss them already . Oh mayne . I miss Kak Nuyul and Raudhah too . I miss Ibu , Ayah , Along . Senang kate , everyone . Okay I shall stop before I cry . :'(

Anyway today was fucking fun . Yeah , I had to use that word to describe just how much fun I had . At 12+ , Me , Avi , Iffie , Shukor , Ayu decided to open up the table . So we started playing taiti . And to start off , I was losing . But the last few games , I ain't fooling myself so I started to win constantly .. We played taiti for an hour or so , and so then we played Race . Stressful game but as a beginner it was a good thing that I managed to win a game . Yay me . Anywho , by 1 , we started to get bore and so I open up the game Snap . But in a different version . LB version . And yeah , I miss LB . Wansuey eyy ? Haha . Well so we played . I swear It was fucking fucking funny , I laughed till my stomach hurts so much that I cried . We laughed so loud till Mummy got angry . But we still continue afterthat .Video with Kak Ayu . Then we moved on to this funny game that got us cracked so fucking much . Finally I felt that I have my life back . And the best thing was , it was spent well with siblings . <3
Anywho , I haven't laugh that hard since last month ? Haha , my stomach was in such a bad condition lah . Haha . Ended everything at 0337 . Haha . Exact timing . Imagine laughing so much for more than two hours ? haha . It was hell much of a fun I tell you . Then everyone was famished , mmoved on to the kitchen . Ate , fried fries , nuggets , meatballs , hotdogs . Haha . Laughed so much . So loud. Now we're all watching New Moon but I ain't concentrating . And please , Taylor , you're mine ? HAHAHAH . Fucking hot . Love those abs . :o
Can I have a boyfriend ? I mean , Can I have Taylor as my boyfriend ? I mean , he would then sing to me " Girl why're you so obsessed with me ? So oh ohhhh , So oh ohhhh " Okay , it's 0548 and my imaginations are runnin wild . I should prolly stop . Kay shush .

-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

HE'S HOT !

Oh wait , it's the 22nd right ? Isn't Dad supposed to take me out shopping today ?

Toodles . ~

I need a rudeboy .

2009-12-21T06:15:00.000-08:00

Wow , I totally slacked today . I even showered at 7 .. in the night . Macam siak hor . Haahahha . Cause when I woke up , they played an hindi Movie . Fuking good okay :D I forgot the tittle . It's about terrorism . And it's a very good story . Well , of course Jihad is a good thing but somehow , if our actions of perfoming it forbids the religion , it won't do you any good . But if you beieve in Allah , do it the way He wants , justice will be served the way it has to be . That's whud I feel after watching the movie .

Well that didnt end . After the Hindi flick , we moved on to a malay film , SETEM . Started off cranky , but as the movie played on , i got hooked . Tu lah pasal tak mandi sampai kol 7 . Good storry , friendship . Hehe . Okay then showered . Moved on to horror , Momok the movie . Fucking cibai lah that one . Hahahhah . Well , two days straight , movie marathon . Syiok .

Now , i wanna go _______ . Chao :D

" The Perfect guy will come to me with love by himself . I'll just wait . Kalau ade , ade . Takde then takde lah . "

Love

2009-12-20T10:30:00.001-08:00

Yeah yeah , I've made changes to my blog and limited the number of posts per page . Profile Info updated too . ^.^ Oh so well , I doubt I'm sleeping cause our movie marathon which is still going on now has been nothing but horror flicks which are giving me goosebumps . Thus I have this strong feeling that I ain't sleeping for tonight and the nights to come . Haha . Yeay me . Well , let's talk about life . Someone , I won't mention who though , did asked me to be his girl but sadly rejected . And that totals up the number of guys who asked me the same thing . 5 guys rejected in a week . I'm sorry but right now , I ain't pullin it off so easily . Ima let my heart take it's time to settle down on only one perfect mister , and lay comfortable . And I might just have the right candidate . But I ain't gonna say it here . Nevertheless , I'm not rushing things off and my status will still remain the same . Ima singlelady . Ima take things seriously but slowly and let the power of love take its own course and bring me to paradise . I just finish texting whom I regard as the perfect hottie . Try figuring it out . and let see if cupid approves of this relationship which i hope turns out to be a blissful one . Well , I'm penning down this thoughts without consideration , screaming to vent this out . I'm taking it slow cause right now , i'm beginning to feel your presence but it doesn't have the sparks . Ima try to be patient here . But still , it's not gonna do any good .

Back to my post few days back on how I shared my feelings regarding boys , whom I claim are jerks . Well , i'm sticking with my opinion , and that won't change cause they still are jerks . It all happened when suddenly in one day , more than 5 guys who started to show their love to me , turn their backs on , and many secrets were revealed in just one mistake that they made . I may appear to be naive and gullible but I don't call myself stupid . Cause , if you are tryna play games with me , then trust me i'll find the most cunning way to get myself to victory and trash you guys . Hiding girls behind my back , hey you are not mine so I don't give a fucking damn . I'm just frustrated seeing how guys can easily cheat girls in just a blink of an eye . But guys , get this in your head , guys who play on girls and hurt their feelins are gonna face real hard kick ass consequences . Yes baby , karma's gonna strike . I'm not saying this for the sake of saying . Like whud Alif say , " Cakap Tak Gune , Tembak Tak Kene " It's stated in the Holy Al-Quran . And it's a fact that you guys can never run away from . So remember guys , treat us girls with respect . Don't take us so lightly . :D Well I'm not saying that all the guys are jerks . At times , they can be a nice , sweet lad who at some point of time makes us feel like the happiest girl on earth , but nevertheless , somehow , there's this bad attitude in them . Oh come on guys , don't let ego control you . Listen to your heart ,take the time to realise , that all these are facts . Right ? And I don't blame you people for that cause to me , I take it as a natural habit . Perhaps all guys are born with this , still it's up to them whether they gon let it rule their life or walk down the right path . And yeah , we girls do realise to , somehow , we can't live without guys . :D And I personally find that , guys , are the best companion and somehow I open up better to the opposite sex . ^.^

Well , now ima appreciate my perfect mister and hold these memories tight as long as they're still here .

These are all personally my very own opinions and it's up to you people to agree or otherwise. Everyone has their own perspective and I respect whud you have to say . :D

I'm done with this . Goodnight loves .

2009-12-20T08:01:00.000-08:00

My Blog Is Full Of Crap , If You Compare It To The Early Posts When I Started THis Blog . Private Blog Laggy Full Of Craps .

Movie Marathon was sucha pain in the ass cause now im friggin scared to sleep with those fucking ghostly images . Fuck off .

Textting Hazyq and Aimi .

Bye !

I H A T E Y O U _|_

Love .

2009-12-19T10:46:00.000-08:00

Somehow , right now , love is all that I can think of .
Somehow , reminisces of the past that once made me the happiest girl , hit me .
I miss alot of people right now .
And it was because I was naive . But I never regret having them in my life .

The very first picture of you .

Dear H_ _ _ _ ,
It's funny how we got to know each other . And it was due to my cheekiness . Having to be in the same religious class was more than what I could ask for . Two years . Being with you was more than whud I could imagine . You were everything I could ever asked for . We were like the typical class couple . Where you sat at the front with me at the back , and every single minute , you turned around , glanced at me , smiled . It was irritating at first , and I got use to it . For 2 years now . Hahs . I could still remember the times you would sent me home without fail everytime the class ends and makes it a point for it to be at my doorstep not more not less . And then we took it to the next level , and we then see each other almost everyday . And no matter how busy we were at times , you always make it a point to fetch me at the bustop opposite zhenghua primary after i'm done with my activities and sent me home and not to forget , the goodbye kisses that you cherished it . You were the ONLY one who could stand my rebellious behaviour and because of you , i've changed . And vice versa . The moments spent with you was priceless . We had those times where we fought till we say things we don't mean but the fights didn't last for more than a day . I can still remember the late night calls that lasted till 5 am and how much you made me wait for 4 hours and 40 minutes on the phone and hearing nothing but your cute snore . I love the way I would snuggle up to you and you would cuddle me up . It was perfect being with you . and now , knowing that you would go to ITE next year scares the geez outta me . I will still love you dearly . Cause afterall , you're the best boyfriend ever and that's the truth . You were my perfect prince charming but we didn't end up living happily ever after . After months of being ttm , more than a year I should say , finally , we went official . Up till now , you still care for me . And till now we still celebrate our monthsarys eventhough we've seperated . And you were the only guy who shares the same birthday as me :D Sweet kan ? Anddddd , we were ttms and steadys on the tenth too . My birthday is on the 1009 , so is his . Sweet kan ! Hahahhaha . And our official date was also on the tenth . It's the tenth month now . two more months , it'll be our first , no , THIRD ANNIversary . And we promised to celebrate it . Much awaited .
I love you .

The words could go on and on . But then I realised , i should go and talk to H now .
<3

Changiiiii .

2009-12-19T09:55:00.000-08:00

Siblings yang tak habes2 menyakitkan hati . Tetap sayang <3

Satu Family Panggil teddy KiKi .

Oh goodness , I went shopping AGAIN today . Well , since our karaoke session was postponed to God knows when , hatched up a last minute plan and drove off to Changi for dinner and shop at the flea market . Brand New stuffs selling at affordable price . Save sikit duit . But I still splurge alot lah . A total of $115 spent today . And in just a week , I spent more than $500 close to a grand . I guess I must be outta my mind . I spent too much on clothes and now my wardrobe needs immediate special attention . Did spring cleaning for bookshelf two days ago and hell , it was really fun . And rearrange the position of the furnitures . It looks better with a conducive environment for learning . Dah macam buat ad lah pulak . Haha .Well , that's not the case , my wardrobe is very ill now . Haha . I have tooooooooo many clothes . Ideas ? Sayang siul mau get rid . haha . Okay , well then , bought dresses , bags , cosmetics , lingerie , hahaha . And it just won't stop . Trust me , im one hell of a shopaholic . Period . Nevertheless , money wasn't just spent on me , fellow family members did their own shopping too . And i'm left with twenty bucks to survive till the twenty second . And that's torture i teellll you ! I can't survive lah like this . Shit . Anyhoo , today was kinda fun i shall say . Haha , aftermath ? Fucking tired . I didn't get to rest my feet and butt since i was too engrossed doing my shopping . Siak . But , i insist on staying up cause i'm waiting for Mr to come online which has the lease possibility cause it's a Ssaturday night and perhaps his out clubbin or something stupid . Haha . And i must say it has been great avoiding him . His just a companion lah really . Well today texted Aimi thruout . And I must say , it's great having a friend like him . And unexpectedly , my friendship together with KiDkIn , has been more than 3 years now I guess and we're still friends okey . :D
WHEEE !
And yeah , i really treasure them <3 Sayang Korang Hor :D Well , i've ran out of topics already . No match tomorrow . Hooray , Haha . And oh fcuk , schools in less than 3 weeks . Fcuk ah Fcuk . Menyusahkan Hidup . Whud should I post about huh ? Hmm , oh everyone's getting married and it's stressing me out . Okay I know It's random . But oh whudever .

And no , i'm not intrested in you nor you . Move on find someone else lah kay . aku tak worth . chao .

It was our first baby .

Bad Mood

2009-12-18T19:49:00.001-08:00

Oh kay , i found someone with the same skin as mine thus had the urge to change . Idk why . Hahah . So stupid , i know . Okay , changes made here and there . Whudever , it's not done . So naqmu comment2 okeh ? And I love Tagged , cause it made me reconnect back with ol friends . I love ! Whooohoooo . Old friends , crushes , boyfriends . It's so funny . Hahah . Well , i've been having a bad week this week . I'm having bad mood again today . Macam siak kan . Ish . Haha , but don't worry im fine okey . Well , yesternight talked otp with Acin . Siak , fucking funneh . I can't stop laughing lahhhh can ! Hahahahahha . He fucking funneh please . Haha . Now chatting with alot of people . Ish . Ade yang irritating . ade yang okay . Ade mintak kene sepak . Haha . Kay ah , stop ah aisyah .

Bye .

I hate you more and more . and more .

2009-12-18T07:31:00.000-08:00

Jantan . Dayus . Boys . Jerks .

No matter how kind , good , nice whatever shit they are , there's still this fucked up character in them . And i feel that this is the fact . Naqmu deny ah guys . Macamane baeq pon , sket ah eyy , conform ade ah sifat sial niy dalam korang kan ? Haha . Whudever . Anyway , niyh general uh ehq . Kayyyy , maybe not uh whudever naqmu crite . fcuk .
Watching Biarlah Bulan Bicara on Sensasi . .fucking sedeyyy , but this cute actor fucking funneh . Im waiting for my Ice cream gorenqq . Shiat . Buhhbyeee ah . Chao .

Okeh , i'm going study for Sec 3 now . Serious .
BYE

2009-12-18T00:18:00.000-08:00

Not Into Love .

Yet .

2009-12-16T09:11:00.000-08:00

Fuck It's only 1 ? Darn . Well , it's been two days since i've been tucking in early . Yeah , to be exact , before midnight . Wow . Ada maju . But yeah , I should really continue :D Well , the only reason I'm awake is first , I don't feel like sleeping , second , somehow i don't know for whatever reason im waiting for Mr and I swear It's fucking dumb . How fucked up I am right now ? Tell me about it . -.- And the clock is ticking , time seems to be passing out sooo damn slowly . Oh gosh , see , im sleepy , matter of fact very , but I just don't have the mood to . Ahhh , im weird . Pfft . Well , i don't know really what to post . To much on my mind . Hmm . I don't know . Give me one topic ? Haha . Well , Happy Sweet Sixteen To Dashhy PootPoot . :D Yeah , problems are never ending in this household . I swear Im so frustrated but tell me , whud much can I do . If I were to flare up , it would only make things worse . Thanks , but no thanks laa eyy . But now , after I learn the truth , I find it fucking hard to accept it and face it . I didn't talk to mum at all eversince I got home . But , mum is no different the way she was done . Look at how she's treating me now . And no , I don't quite hate momma , but it's just . Once you learn the truth , i bet you , you're gonna have a fuckin hard time to deal with a major deadly truth as such . Trust me . Just the thing . I was fucking stunned when I got to know that . Oh why bother ? shucks . This is soooooooooooooo craazy . Well , I admit I had those samekind of thoughts then but little did I know it was actually true . Little , White , Lies , They say . And thanks that after 14 pathetic years , then now I know everything . And its 'FANTASTIC' to know that someone is taking advantage of my success . Which then just dampers me alot and now I don't have the willingness to study . Tsk , see laa . Kayyy scrap all that . Well , right now , im fuckin excited for school . No actually im not . Half hearted okay . Im starting to read those fucking fucking thick books . Especially A maths . Fucking thick . Die ! My schoolbag fucking smal . Fuck ah . Okay , i'm listening to Raya songs now . I mean since just now . Idk whuds wrong with me . -.-I hate it when I'm stress cause I do fucking stupid random things . And i'm silly . Get silly . Wooh . Kayy dah sha stop . Bye . Jumpe entot kol 12 beyy aku lom tydo . Canteq paa ? Sial , tydo lah sha . Nanty kau taqleyy banqun begok !

Weii musibat , pape naqmu sentuh adik aku . Kau sudah tarik die masok dalam taik kau , pandai pandai kau tarik die klua . Naqmu nak yek nqan aku kay . Mane maruah kau girl ? Lesap dalam lobang jubo kau ? Sial , naqmu caryk pasal . Make sure settle .

Beggin , beggin you..
Put your lovin hand out baby .

2009-12-16T07:44:00.000-08:00

Biarkan Aku Jatuh Cinta

Okay , so I went out to Bugis today . And chalet plans was cancelled due to some circumstances . Nevertheless , I enjoyed my time today . So much of saving , I spent a fucking 500 bucks today . Cheers for me ! Whee . -.- I told ya , i aint wise in financial wise . Still , I'm happy though . I get to buy stuffs that I want , and NEED . Muahahahah . And i'm pretty much happy okay ? And I'm going shopping again on the 22nd . ^^ Wheee , top of the list is those awesome AC//DC High Cuts . I was close to buying it just now when i had this sudden change of heart to let Dad keep the money for his spendings and buy it later . I'm a good daughter kay please ? HAHAH . :P Well today was fun cause I was going goo gaa gaa when shopping and most of all , awesome heart to heart confabulations with Dearest Daddy . And now , I know almost everything . And eventhough they are all hurtful truths , I'm glad I get to know em . And it's heartbreaking really . It's too open to be shared here . Well , I'm okay . Hahs , well while on the way to school earlier in the afternoon to get those fucking thick school books , I texted Hadie . :D

" b , first day gy skola ngan i , buley .?"
"Uhm..I pape..tp nk klua kol rape??:-D"
"Betol ? Entah , nnty plan . Betol eyy buley ?"
"Hahaha ! Ye, tpy klau nk gy skol ngan i , kite dueorang jek tau ! :-D"
"Okay"
"Alryte!:-D"
"Thankyou b(: "
"No prob my syg :-D"

Okay , yourr imaginations must be runnin wild now . Hahs , we're close close friends lah . Ya friends . That's how we address each other . It's normal to us . Hahs . :P Really . :D Well , he's the one who's been loving me for two years straight now . Hahs . Whatever it is , i love him ,cause he's a great bestfriend cum companion . :D

Well , Mr has already book out frm camp , YAY ! .But he's out clubbin . _|_ Haha . Whudever . Enjoy lah kau nak . Im surprised , finally he called . Awwh , banyak kali plak tuh . Whudever .

Going out tmr . With , Entot , Her cousin , My cousin(s) . Naqmmuuu paitaoo boyssss . Yeah , plurrrral . :P

BYE !.

I can't waste time .

2009-12-15T18:50:00.000-08:00

Love is so blind ,

it feels right when it's wrong .

See , what do we have here . Ohh , Thanks Abang for helping me to update my blog . Well , life's been just fine I guess . BBQ , today . Sanziro . Im sure I'm gonna have truckloads of fucking fun . Though Mr won't be there . Nevermind , i'll persuade him to go . YES , he's gonna book out of camp tomorrow . WHEEE ! Yes , i'm happy much . Only thing is , I fought with him yesternoon . Sorry lah you . Wlao . Well , Papa just called , gonna go buy school books at 12 . I was like ' Papa , naqmu paitao eyy ' . Haha . Hopefully . Now , will they allow me in , with the blonde streaks on my hair ? Fcuk care lah hor . Buy books only whud . Not that i'm attending any activities whudsoever . Can you believe I'm actually stepping in to that hellgates . Like , for real ? Oh shit . I know im just gonna buy books but , EW . And believe it or not , I still don't know what subjects I'm taking . I mean , the infos all over the place . Im so jumbled up lah can . Die . Shoot me . Hahs . Well , i've make so many mistakes these past week and , i don't know lah kay . Stop talkin about this . Ima lead my life as to what it is now . Siape yang terlepas , your pasal lah . :P Well , ima be my own bestfriend now . And , i think I'm done . Heading to Bugis before Chalet . I THINK . Not confirmed . Hahah , and im missing MR alot . Ns fucking trouble lah . Haha . Bye Bye ! :D
Eyy ,lu mau kawan ngan orang lain gua tak jealous lah babe . Lu takda papa , wa tak goyang.

I love you , you love me ♥

2009-12-14T01:55:00.000-08:00

PATHETIC

That's what I think right now . Pathetic ? Why ? You'll know sooner or later . Okay , So Hi people , I 'm back . Although my 'vacation' wasn't hip fun happening , it was at least a meaningful one . It was a learning journey . Something I could ponder on . And this vacation , answers most of my questions to life . I can't lie , it was beneficial really . Right now , this very moment , im disappointed , torn apart , broken hearted . My Love , for friendship was misused . It's okay , lesson to be learnt . I can deal with it . But it takes time for my heart to recuperate . let's save this for other days . Ima share what happened during my journey back home . Throughout the whole day , I was on the phone with Mr . Well , he's friends are friendly , too friendly :D But they are really nice people and it's fun to have all of em as company . Being able to vent out their boredom on me . Well , it doesn't matter . So I met up with Dad and Uncle Ajax . Drove to Gelang Patah , my home . I missed my two storey house . I miss the pool . I miss riding the horses . Yes I miss all of em . I miss all of the hot Gurkhas on duty . Hahs . Well , On our way there , a mishap happened , leading me to misfortune . I wouldn't reveal everything here , but I'm fine . Don't make wild accusations people . Don't even start to think what happened . Im fine . Well , then , made our way there , met up with Aunt and Granny . I miss her . Then we went off to Tembrau . There we went to a cafe . Relative's . Talk about my passion , Arts . Don't be 'kolot' . There's a whole lot more to Art . It's more than it meets the eye . It runs in the blood . My dad owns a diploma in Arts from NAFA . Don't judge a book by its cover . If my dad , as stubborn as he is , can own a cert , i believe I can to . Well we talked for more than an two whole hours . By the time it was already midnight I think , proceeded to the usual cafehouse , and had our late dinner cum supper . And we weatched the BPL . ManU VS Aston Villa . Disappointing one . reached home at 4 am . Decided to entertain myself , so I watched Mohabbatein . <3 I cried . I told ya , you give me any Hindi movie to watch , it's a sure-cry . By then it was 5 am , so i woke Granny and aunt up , I wanted to pray with them .Some of you might be going " Alahh , cam paham sak ni minah " . I know . But whatever . It's between me and HIM . Opinions from you guys are sternly not appreciated . Say all you want . He will decide . But it wasn't a peaceful one . Since it was a two storey crib , and the floorplan was almost similar to the one in Paranormal Activity , and it haunts me back . After much tossing , i fell asleep .

Woke up the next morning , had breakfast . Showered . A few moment later , i got bored so I went for a swim which turns out to be a quality time with me , myself and I . Despite the mishap that I had , I was sure and determined to just swim . I cried . Yes , not due to the pain . It's almost as if the pool spoke to me . Suddenly a gush of memories struck me . And i found myself , crying in guilt . Betrayal . All that I have now , is nothing compared to a family's love . A complete family . And im very very proud to have a supportive family with me. Be envious . Sanziro Family . With guidance from Ibu , Ayah , Nek Nong and my mum , we , family, are a happy one . :D
Ohhh , we're having a one week chalet . But i won't be staying there for a week . With God's consent , Insya'Allah , im going shopping with siblings tomorrow and see if Mr wants to come along . And so I had enough of 3 hours swimming . Dad called me out , and i dry up , he told me not to shower since we're gonna get dirty . Well , as expected , we went horse riding at the country club . It was F U N . Yeapppp . After an hour , it was almost Maghrib . Prayed . Movie Mania till 8 am in the morning . Alone .All hindustan . <3
Yeah I didn't sleep . By then , i washed up and it's time to go home . Fast eh ?
Then me and dad decided that we shall take the bus home . Meaning , no cars . :D
So we sat at the warung for awhile . and dad spilled practically everything about his past life and all . And i know whre he's from now . In those terms they say , ' aku tau bapak aku budak mane ' . Get it? Haha. And so boarded the bus . I wanted the fast way out thru second link , but Dadddy insists on going through Woodlands . And so , as yknw , through woodlands it was the long way there . I swear I was having a real hard time , plus the bus was sooooooooooooo not comfortable , i was , i was freaked off . Pretty much .
Urghhhhhh . I guess I really do not want to recall the tedious journey so I shall stop . Reached Singapore , texted Mr and Abang . Then bused to Woodlands . Bused back home , Alone . No , with the company of Mr onthephone . He's gonna book out of camp this Thursday night . And if the plan is confirmed , please , i hope he's gonna join my family to karaoke . Both sisters bringing their partners , so is mum , and im bringin him , i mean my family is persuading him . And , all girls bringing boys . And all the men are gooooood singers trust me . :D So yeah , i talked to him all the way till 7 pm . which means , 7 hours straight ? I had fun . Talked to his friends too . :D Uh , our convo shall be kept as a secret eyy . Hehs . So yea , since I hadn't slept since i don't know when , i fall fast asleep at a surprising 8 o'clock after my prayers . And so I woke up today , at 8 am . Showered and decided to post this . And received a call from Mr . texted him . He wants me to call . Yeay !

Alright . I'm done .

Picutres soon .

Lights Off

2009-12-13T08:21:00.000-08:00

Since you've ask me to log in to yours .
Dedicate this to you .
Hope you have a nice time at know where .
So silent without you around .

Sincerely ,

Abang .

2009-12-12T00:25:00.000-08:00

PEACE

That is all im concern about right now . Yesternight was hectic really . I could have killed myself right at that moment . I'm sorry to those who were worried . I really am . Especially Abang and NizamChynerBby . Sorry People . I truly really am . Now i'm fine just having a hard time doing normal stuffs . Cause yeah , aftermaths are always the most suffering . Thanks Nizam for sacrificing your prepaid till it's finish now just to accompany me . And sorry you cried because of me . Thanks truckloads to my Daddy , for being there with me . I love you Daddy . Im sorry Alif for promising to call back but making you wait till you fell asleep . Sorry . Well , i feel stupid and useless at the same time . I couldn't afford it . Sigh . These ramblings are only gonna let hatred arose amongst you people . Well , for now , Im going back Malaysia . I may be back in a day or two . So , not for long . Im gonna swim swim swim . :D
But i'll be the only teen there , so em folks better keep me occupied . Gags . Well , Daddy just called me , and im off now .
Takeecareeeeee peooopppleeeeeeeeeeeee .
Well , I'll update you people on anything . Im gonna go MIA NOW . Bye .

Life's a game but it's not fair ,
I break thru rules so I don't care .

2009-12-11T12:41:00.000-08:00

Right hand swollen and index finger's bone came out for punching the wall . Left hand full of blood . Right leg swollen and toenail chipped off for kicking the walls for twenty minutes straight . And idk how many pills I already swallowed .

NizamCiner aka Star Satiam <3

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2009-12-10T23:48:00.000-08:00

Few things updated .
Links updated .
PLaylist updated , with a memorable song as an opening .
Lovelist updated .
See if your picture is there .
:D
If you wanna be added tagg yeah ! :D

So im supposed to accompany sis but i overslept . Well , sorry kakak .
Woke up with two missed calls . Mum and ERFAN .
I was like .
" You called ? "
" Ya , y never answer ? "
"I baru bangun "

Then he called .

" Hello "
"Baru bangun tydo ehhh "
" Ah Ah "
" Beh nga uat pe niy ? "
"Bariing , atas katil "
" *hiscutelaugh* Ape you , i call , pasal esok i nak gy KL tau . "
" Oh "
* then we talk2 . Manje2 . Woooots ! *
" b , b , tunggu jap "
I was happy can ? hahahah .
"Ah hello "
"Hello "
" Ah , so uh , bye . Nanti I msg you "
" uhm , bye .... "
" loveyou"
Then he put down . Siak .Haha .He said love you oie ! Weeee ~!

Then shower , karaoke with family . ^^
He's supposed to be out of camp today . But he has to serve detention . Macam siak ah .
So A won't be playing for this week's match .
Aiyooooo , Sanziro no hope . Hehe . JkJk .

Yesterday went CCK then ibu's house . Hahs .
FUN . ^^

Okay bye .

2009-12-10T10:08:00.000-08:00

No Im not done with my blog yet , so shut your trap i'll get it over and done with .
Im sick .
As in really sick .
So not in the mood .
Chao .

Fever , Nauseous , Dizzy , Cough , Cramps .

Oh gosh .

2009-12-09T15:22:00.001-08:00

Erfan. Taufiq. Amirul. Alif. Hadie. Shahmi. Chuckie. Hakim.

Eight guys .
One girl .
Eight hearts .
One love .

Eight stories .
One dilemma .

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2009-12-09T13:38:00.000-08:00

MovieMarathon .

Papaddom > Saw 6 > Kuntilanak 3 > Jeniffer's Body .

Doesn't have any links at all with the first movie . Ah , warm up .
Ima go Ibu's house tmr which is sooooooooooooo not a choice .
But I rather be there than spending my time doing NOTHING , with Taufiq .
He asked me to accompany him fetch his guitar and just S L A C K .
I haven't heard of that word since ..............................
Nahhh , im tired of slacking already . MACAM P .
Well , im F R E S H now . Like seriously . Very Fresh . Anybody wanna ask me out ? huh ?
Nahhh , im getting my fulus next week /
New everything .
chao .

I miss Erfan .

2009-12-09T12:48:00.001-08:00

Unfair
Unreal
I wanna turn my heart into cold steel
That'd be one way
To unlove you

Unjust
Unkind
That I can't erase you from my mind
That'd be another way
To unlove you

Even though my heart
Is tellin me to stay,
Beggin me to stay
My self-respect is telling me
I gotta walk away, so

Imma gonna say what I gotta say
What's done you can't undo
Imma gonna break what I gotta break
'Cause you were untrue
I'm gonna hurt
I'm gonna cry
I'm gonna tear me up inside
Imma gonna do what I gotta do
To unlove you

Untill
I heal
I wish that I could freeze everything I feel
That'd be one way
To unlove you

Emotions
Unknown
If only I could turn me into stone
That'd be, another way
To unlove you

Even though my heart
Is tellin me to stay,
Beggin me to stay
My dignity is tellin me
I gotta walk away, so

Imma gonna say what I gotta say
What's done you can't undo
Imma gonna break what I gotta break
'Cause you were untrue
I'm gonna hurt
I'm gonna cry
I'm gonna tear me up inside
Imma gonna do what I gotta do
To unlove you

I've gotta look you in the eye
And tell the world the biggest lie
What choice do I have
When you hurt me so bad
Wrecked everything we had
So

Imma gonna say what I gotta say
Imma gonna do what I gotta do
To unlove you

Imma gonna say what I gotta say
What's done you can't undo
Imma gonna break what I gotta break
'Cause you were untrue
I'm gonna hurt
I'm gonna cry
I'm gonna tear me up inside
Imma gonna do what I gotta do
To unlove you

I'm gonna hurt
I'm gonna cry
I'm gonna tear me up inside
Imma gonna do what I gotta do
To unlove you

2009-12-09T00:53:00.000-08:00

Maybe Going Out Later With Sisssss . And Im Gonna Have A Hard Time , Why ?
Cause She Just Met With An Accident And She's Limping . :P

I'm Waiting For Next Week , I Need Dinero So Much . I Want So Many Telas Nuevas .

Actually , I Don't Have Much To Talk About Really . Just That , Im Half Hearted , Torn Apart .
Abang , Thanks For The Good Talk We Had , Thanks For Knockin Some Sense In Ma Head . Really Needed That . Sigh .

I'm Gonna Sit And Wait Like A Fool . But Trust Me At The End Of The Day , I Won't Choose Either . Sigh .

wld u go for sum1 who kenal adik n setia menunggu adik lama benar
or pergi ke seseorang yg adik baru kenal n nt much noe abt his backgrpund
*background
i know this might sounds harsh
but wld u wanna make the same mistake again?

Note To Self : Don't Let History Overcome Me And Repeat Itself .

No quiere decir que también me amas♥

2009-12-08T07:19:00.000-08:00

But It's Too Late To Think Of The Fact You Worth My Life ....

If I say , I'm crying/laughing/smiling right now , would you believe me ?

{Shahmi} (11:12PM)

Haha kk ...
Once upon a time ,
Ade satu gadis cantik di skola dunearn , name die aisyah, ade satu jejaka yang malu untuk buat kakwan AKA shahmi, pada tahun pertama, jejaka tu tak ramai kawan. MAsuk tahun kedua,entah ape jadi, jejaka tu jatuh cinta ngan gadis cantik tersebut, malangnye, gadis tersebut telah dipunyai oleh kawan rapat jejaka tersebut, hadie, patah semangat, jejaka tersebut buat keputusan supaya cuba lupakan perasaannya terhadap gadis itu semata-mata untuk tidak mengecewakan hati rakannya yang boleh mengakibatkan persahabatan mereka putus. Tapi malangnua ,jejaka tersebut tidak dapat buang perasaan cinta kepada gadis itu dan dia terpaksa sembunyikan perasaan itu supaya tidak mengancam persahabatan dengan rakan-rakannnya.
The End.

{Shahmi} (11:12PM)

Best tak crite tadi?

Me (11:33PM):

Awwhhhh.... That's the best love story <3

{Shahmi} (11:35PM)

Tu based on true story. Menang grammy awards sei tu. Haha. Tapi tadi i actually tak nak ceritakan .

Me (11:40PM)

But Why ?

{Shahmi} (11:40PM)

Why wad ?

Me (11:41PM)

Why don't you want to tell me the truth before ?

{Shahmi} (11:42PM)

Ummm, pasal i tak nak jadi punca u ngan hadie break up...
I taknak sakitkan hti seorang kawan , i lagi rela jadi mangsa dari punca .

Now would you believe me ?

Finally , all questions are answered . I understood why .
No wonder , from the starting of the year , and right till this day , he always wants to send food to my home once i told him I haven't eaten .
No wonder , whenever I'm sick , he'll always be the one who wants to bring me to the clinic/hospital .
No wonder , he always wants to bring me out to catch a movie/show/musical whenever I say i wish I could .
No wonder , till now , he is still in Dunearn and not CCKSS .
No wonder , he's willing to beg the principal to be in the same class as me , eventhough he's appeal was rejected .

No wonder this , no wonder that .
Even after taking an oath , saying he'll stay with me forever , I didnt realise that he actually , love♥ me .

He protected me from bad . He prevented me from evil . he cheered me when im down .
I vented out my anger on him .
I laughed my ass off with him .
I cried to sorrow with him .

So he was there throughout , and being a bummer , i didn't realise it all , until now .
I really respect him . He's prioritising his friend's happiness rather than his , and suffers in silence .

He saw me going to so many different guys . And when I got hurt , he was there to mend them .

I can't believe this . For just 5 minutes , I sat down , with tears flowing , i reminicised back all the things he did for me , and they can never be replaced . Im so grateful to have him .

I can still remember the time he came to my house and we had this singing session . And we did a duet of 'My Heart♥ ' .

I rememberd . Vividly . I , once , had feelings for him . And how I would blush so much everytime he passes by .

No wonder , whenever im out with Hadie , he's always refusing to tag along .

No wonder after so many ups and downs , he's still there for me .

Is this true love♥ ?

You told me a love story . And i said it was the best . Little did i know it was about me & you.
ShahmiAziz♥

Unappreciated

2009-12-07T10:26:00.000-08:00

Woah , sorry for the lack of like , seriously proper updates . Gahh , been too busy catching up with family and my days was occupied by having a 'good' time with the Sanziro Family . So finally here I am , pouring out this filled life of mine with you,wonderful strangers.Well . I must say , it was a good thing to be there neither was it a bad one . I shall say , for now , i regretted being there , but a side of me am thankful for actually being there .

So having to been lacking of time to spent with them , I finally braved myself and actually FORCE myself to have a good time . On Saturday , i sleptover at Ibu's place . I couldn't recall much what happened . Only that , it was actually kinda bored . Was it ? Ahhh , my mind went blank . Yazin and A slept there too . And I must say , A , you are a great friend . And I myself , choose it to remain as it is . And so well , on that day , i texted with Kin , Aimi and A . Well , more or less . But wait , hold it , i was left with a night full of sorrow and hatred . Before i even go there , Mr IC ( IrritatinglyCute) , also from Sanziro , called me . And i was so damn fucking happy . Which turns my hatred into love again . Somebody shoot me . Well , apart from that , I was sad thruout . And I hated that our talk didnt last for long .
Someone confessed to me of what they did , and i felt so betrayed . Making love on his bed ? His my brother ! Yes , i must admit it's his fault . But it was yours too . It's your body and so , you have the right . Don't tell me you're forced or whatsoever .
And oh Brother , yknw you hurt me . I still have yet to talk to you about this yknw . And I don't think you have any idea that i know about this . Oh come on , what are you doing ? You left me crying and thinking about this till this fucking minute so thanks for messing up my life . Why dek ? Why ? I hugged , kissed that body of yours without knowing what you did before . I hate you dek . I really do . :'( You got me all fired up to the extend where i swore i would beat you up the moment i saw you . you are my everything .
ASAL ADEK BUAT KAKAK MCM GYNI ?!
You swore you won't do anything stupid . You swore you'll be a good guy . Adek , Im disappointed . :'(
Words just won't explain it all how much i love and care for you . And dont you fucking make me lose trust on you . Im fucking pissed off , SERIOUSLY .
Please dek .
She's not worth .

Well and because of that , I slept at 2 and woke up at 4 and even thata fucking 2 hours of sleep wasn't a fucking peaceful one . Damn It .

So the next day , had an early match . Adik came . ^^ I hugged her and believe it or not , I cried . Lucky no oone saw sak ! I told MrIC , im not coming . He was disappointed , and i blushed . Macam siak . But then , he was shocked to see me coming down . And , we took the same vans . Both rides to and fro . It was fucking torturous to see him there lah . And he scored a goal . BLEAHS . For now , he's the leading top scorer . And that wasn't the end of my torture .

Throughout the whole day , Ibu and the rest teased me and him . How shall i describe this scene ?
Bear with me .

He was sitting on the sofa and the back part of the room with the rest . Me and Halreyna was sitting at the front watching Bohsia .
Ibu blurted out saying he wants my number .
Padehal2 .
We have been contacting for a week already , no make that 2 .
And the teasing went on and on . and on . and on . lasted for 2 fucking hours .
Ibu sang songs . He was laughing . He blushed . He smiled . So was I .
What was he trying to convey ?
Ibu was saying all kinds of things .
Which has links to a perfect couple = me , him .
NO that's not all .
There was soooo many things that Ibu said . I wish they were all true .
I remembered one of the songs that Ibu sang .
" Menjeling menjeling, ku bertentang , maata kita sama memandang . "
He blushed . Aku lagy blushed .
We had this 'talkshow'
everyone there was interviewed by Ibu . Ibu asked him about me .
Well , I should really really forget him .
And till now ?
Sigh .
He's not playing this week . DB .
Sadsad . :'(
I guess i shant attend the match .
BAH . !
During th e'talkshow' was otp with KhaiJepon.
We had a heart to heart talk . We almost expressed out everything and almost anything . And to the extend I was hurt by every single member of the LB's action , and I cried . That's when i went out of Ibu's house and everyone was puzzled at that moment as to why I cried . KJ knows . He comforted me . Thanks bro . I love you

Look , where were you people when i needed you the most ?
KORANG ADE MASALAH , KORANC CARI AKU . AKU TAKDE PON NAK BANYAK BUNYI , AKU AT LEAST TOLONG KASI ADVICE ATAU PUJUK KORANG .
BILE PART MASALAH AKU , KORANG CAKAP APE ?!

Oh , itu masalah kau , noone of my concern .
Tuh kau peh pasal .

Eh Sasuay lah prangai .
Eh sial , aku sedih lah . Abeh slame ni , aku ade ngan korang buat pe? Ade masalah cari aku , takde belah . Sudahlah .
NAK KATE AKU DAH BERUBAH ?

Pandang diri sendiri dulu , baru kau buley bebual ngan aku , siape dah berubah .Okay ?

Mau bebual world , biar jalan . Takmo cakap tak gune , tembak tak kene , sui ?
Beh , bile aku kate, die mau rapat ngan aku , kau kate ape? Biar laa .
So , isn't it fair if i said the same too ?
You might go on saying i've changed , now who has changed the MOST ?

Answer that .

Bukan nak gaduh , but , uh nevermind , korang TAK AKAN paham .

It's okay , there's no use talking about this cause trust me NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGED . They won't change . They won't realise . Let ME be the one whom people are swearing on , cursing on , blaming on , when the problem lies on others . I told you im ajinx . UNAPPRECIATED . Thanks alot lah eyy. So in this game , im the villain . Huh ? You changed , they BLAMED ME !
Friendships broken , they blame ME .
So , senang cakap , naqmu ade ape ape ngan aku ah ? Since aku bawak sial dalam hidup semua .
And , im saying this to everyone not only LB .
Sigh .

:'(

Foolish of me , but shits happened . And i have to live with it .
No matter how shitty i feel when it comes to terms with me dealing with shittycraps .
Well , i don't care .

Here's the thing , I'm in going on a journey of life on boat . Who wanna come aboard with me ?

So today celebrated Kak Nurul's birthday , He wasn't there .

Name die pon start ngan A . Amacam ?

He said :
1: Ur 'ish' ... especially when i disturbed about F.. HEHE ! Cuteness ....

The only obstacle is , him .

Hanya bayang-bayang wajah mu
Sering bermain di ingatan
Usahlah lagi engkau biarkan
Ku pohon cinta suci mu

Loves♥

2009-12-05T03:11:00.001-08:00

041209♥

Definitely a day to remember for these end of year holidays .
Spent time with Ahtee and Arch .
And as usual , it was rockin .
Laughed my ass hard .
I love ya'll . I Swear

Yesterday One boy , wanted to ask for my number in the bus .
But I don't want his , i want his friend's number .
AWH .
Hot kan die , Ahteeeee ?!
And they bet for my number over a meal from the KFC .
Sucha Loser .

More pictures @ Facebook .

051209♥

Went to Bbyboy♥'s Mum's Wedding .
Went there with Mum .
Cause our Mummys are best of friends . Hehs .
I enjoyed .
Especially with the oh-so-many cute guys around .
Especially those from the Kuda Kepang .
Gosh I swear I was melting .
I got hooked up with one of the boys , but , since Mummy was there ,
we couldn't talk much let alone exchange digits .
So just a nice chat and farewell .
HE'S OH SO HOT !
Darned .
Bbyboy♥'s looking veh veh handsome today . ♥

More pictures @ Facebook .

And so now heading over to Ibu's place, right this minute so it explains all why im posting a very short post .
Sorry .

And I got to know one guy , he's sweet . Hehs .
We'll see how it goes eyy . ^^

Can't believe I'm going for tomorrow's match . EW .
_|_
Whatever ,
I hate Cuteguy ,
AKU SERIOUS LAH .

And I love my Kiro Sanchi♥ , Ahtee♥ , Arch♥ , Bbyboy♥ .

And that conversation I had with A , was so sweeeeeet .
Romantic . Hahs .

Eh , satu jalan , tak mati .
Sepuluh datang.
Aku buley hidup tanpa kau .
Ade ramai lagy laki kat lua .
Kau takde jek , tengok brape laki nak aku .
HAH .
-.-
Tak Mati Laa Boy .

Janji Melayu

2009-12-03T20:01:00.000-08:00

I'm waiting for The Highness , Nurul Atiqah Rasid aka AHTEE .
JANJI MELAYU LAH KAU .
Haa . Aku da agak dah . Ish .
Well , im so excited to meet her really I tell you .
Zaini's joining us too aye .
Im so excited baby .
I miss all my sugars .
CHAO !

Irritated

2009-12-03T13:08:00.001-08:00

Just hung up the phone . Yeah these two days , there's this one fucking irritating guy who's so full of himself has been entertaining me thruout . Yedyerdy talked otp with him from 3am till 915am . Yes , loads of craps . I swear he's irritating . I'm so gonna kick his ass this Sunday . If I'm going . And today we talked from uhm , 11 I think till 5 which is the time now . But I must admit he's cute though . Lol . Abang knows who he is . I shan't reveal yet . Eyy don't worry , we are friends really .
I like it when I talk crap he'll go ' ape you ' hahah .
Whatever .

Btw I totally give up on love lah . It's really irritating . Sucks hurts and whatever more . Ish .
Yknw just now I was chatting with that cute guy and he called me . But I didn't realize . And he was like
' I tau I ni siape . Siape lah nak layan '
He got all caught up and starred his irrinoying ness . Ugh whatever . He sucks . Really .

Well just now A contacted me . Sigh . And , he called me b ! Ish . And the word love too . Don't even go there .
I don't wanna think about love or anything close to it . Kiss my ass .

I'm going out in a few hours time . With my one and only babygirl , Ahtee . Yey , finally lah !
Hopefully , I'm gonna extend my hair . No not that extend , the colour extend , uhm say idk , a few strands of em . Still deciding on the colour though . I shall go with blonde. I asked for cute guy's opinion and he lamely answered purple . Kau lame lah tortoise , hahaha .
Kau sey , nanti die Mara . Whatever ,
Ahtee is asleep and I'm gonna kill her if she don't wake up . Literally . Whatever .

No more Sanziro for me .

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Fuck Off

2009-12-03T06:10:00.000-08:00

Hello.Im fucking pissed off with my fucking life and no one can help me . Whatever lah . Im fucking pissed I swear . And the next person who's gonna pissed me will get a fucking piece of my mind . Sial . Argh !

I don't fucking care . I wanna deal with drugs ? Alcohol ? Blood ? Cigarettes ?
DONT EVEN FUCKING BOTHER .

Yeah , everyone , DONT GIVE A FUCKING DAMN ABOUT ME LAH KAY .

Yeah , to hell with those fuucking ones who give hell to me .
Ohh I swear Im gonna give you hell ten times more . Dont try ah .

IM FUCKING PISSED OFF . _|_
FCUK AH FCUK .
Nabuey

Fucked .

2009-12-02T06:49:00.000-08:00

Yeah , im sorry , i slitted myself , again .
I was too pissed off .
I mean , can't i be happy ?
Not even for a day sak . CCB .
Im fucking pissed pff right at this moment can ?
Lemme be informal now .

to kau .
Kau umur da brape sak ? Please lah , grow up .. Sissy ah prangai lu !
Adik adik . Nak mengaku diri sendiri mature , abang2 , pui ah . Ini blog aku ,suke hati aku mau cakap pe . Kau siape nak bilang orang siak ? Please ah , kalau kau pompan , kay ah aku paham . Tapi kau lelaki siol ! Prangai sundal sak . Pasal kau , life aku kene kong . stop it eyy , please ah ,prangai kau serious ah ! Memang patot ah aku dulu buat kau macam socaii aku . Stop it ah . Please ah . Naqmo amek kesah pasal iidup aku . pasal ape ? AKU TAK APPRECIATE AH EH . Takmo sasuay . Tak malu eh kau , kene sound nan pompuann . _|_
Kau cukup kenal siape kau . Seriouss ah boy , aku da bukan balak kau , jady tak perlu nak kong hidup aku kay ?
_|_ Get a life arse .

And to the pb .
Alah aku cukup kenal lah siape kauokay ?:D
Kau nak cakap ape cakap ah sial . Aku big fuck , abey kau ape sial ? Letak name bodoh . Identify yourself . Tak paham english pe siol . Beh mau speaking ngan aku . Haha . ISAP DALAM DALAM . Tak puas , lai ah !
Mau kaysiao nan aku , aku pon boleh ah . Lebih dary tu aku bole kasi kau . Naqmo takot ah eyy . Kau kalau dah go international , kalau dah jady blakon , BARU SINI BEBUAL NGANAKU .
Aku tak bebual ngan orang macam kau . Sorry ah eyy .
tapy prangai stop it ah .
Kau mau bebual pasal hidup orang , mau kutok media , eh please ah , takmo malu kan diri kau . Cukup bagus aku cakap sini habis sini . Janqan sampai aku sound kan diri kau ngan orang orang media , baru kau tau nasib kau . Takde banyak cakap ah ,aku kasi kau cukup publicity untuk kasi kau famous .
Eh takmo tembak sembarangan .
Aku peh orang takkan tembak tak kene ah eh .
Kau kasi kau peh facts betol baru bebual .
Bebual biar beralas ah girl . Takmo binawei ah prangai .Prangai mau stengah jagung ah kau . tkmo bebual yek ah girl . Kua mau au au , aku kasi kau au au . Aku takde takot same kau .
Aku cukup kenal lu sapa . Kau mau promote aku silakan ah sial . Aku siket takde gentar .

Aku cabar kau !

See , aku da hot , tu lah , buat aku tiong lagy . da bagus aku nak jaddy goodgirl , skarang jady macam gyni . Takpe , i'll be fine . :D
yeayyy !

Confused

2009-12-01T12:53:00.000-08:00

Why is it so hard for my happiness to last eyy ? It's testing my patience seriously . There is sure to be one day where I'm just gonna burst macam what . I mean I'm tired of leaving a miserable fucked up life full of unfortunate events . Sigh . I wanna be happy lah . Please lah please . Ish .

Mum is being difficult I swear . It's getting me frustrated really , but what options do I have ? She's my mum oi . I mean no matter how rebellious I can be hurting my mum and all , she's still my mum , the best . And I love her .

You guys think I'm crazy aye crying and posting something stupidly emo at 5 am?sigh . I can't even sleep lah please .

And in such quick notice my blog is widely spread . So Ima chnge my URL again . Soon , real soon , just bear with me . And when I change my URL , remember , DONT , I repeat eyy , DONT ask for my URL . I'll personally tell you . So , Diam . Yes aku action . Abeh ? Nah nanny poo poo , hahahaha , stop it idiot .

I'm mntally worn out . Really , and to add things worse my breathing difficulty is acting up again . And it seriously sucks to the damn core . Chest pains and all , ugh , sakit yknw . Tak leh tahan girl . Haha .

Sometimes my Mind just go haywire and thoughts of running home again still occurs in my head . But aku takde money . Takde fun no duit wo . Wlao .

Oh and did I tell you I really really hate nosey people . You don't have to be concern about me , I can handle it on my own . Can't you just read my blog And shut your longkang ? Haa . You don't have to run your mouth spilling whatever that is written here . If I can be quiet why can't you ?
Right ? So think , ponder lah kau sampai jadi quartet pounder . Ah Kay sha , lame . -.-

And love , in not interested in anyone . Yet . Okay aku lie . I'm interested in someone only abangku syaz knows . But no I'm not falling for it .
I'm sorry to those whom I rejected your love . Those . Plurrrrrrral . I'm breaking people's hope in days . But I'm helpless . I don't have feelings for them what . I can't go breaking their hearts further right ? We can be close friends eyy .

While posting this I'm on the phone with Hakim who really wants me to mention that we were together for 2 years .
Menyebok jek ni anak , yeah he's a great late night companion who always tahan with my prangai . Haha thanks eyy berok . Now kite bestfriends . Ain't it better that way ? No loves , just friends . Eventhough memories of us still runs vividly in my mind , I mean I can't simply forget something as special as a two year relationship that is full of happiness . Aku move on what . Heha . And I'm a happy lil girl now . (:

Aku talk taik now . Hahaha .

Hakim wants me to mention that I'm very naughty cause there was this once I burnt his hair . Haha .
Thnks eyy you . Menyebok _|_

I have to post all this cause he's gonna read em . Ish .

So aisyah happy Gile girl .

Gonna continue talking to that idiotic berok .

Bye ass !

- Posted BlogPress from my iPhone

Tag Replies

2009-12-01T05:22:00.000-08:00

Finally , I decided to reply my tags . Thanks to all who tagged :D

Syazi : Hello ! Hehs , Firstttttttttttt :D
IzzaSiao : Hehs , thankyou babe . You stay pretty too :D Tc
Kambing : Eyyy Ni kambing , melampau betol .
pb : Hey , uh , mind identifying yourself ? :D
idham !: Helloooo ! Hehs , mesti ah best . Hahahahah . :D Glad you like it :D
Farsiaosiao ! : Hey thanks alot yeah .
ιzzαsιαόķαтεkq : Hehs , you're much welcome dear :D Stay happy tau . tc

No , im not okay :'(

TwentyFirst

2009-12-01T03:40:00.000-08:00

See See , i told you , happiness doesnt last . Sigh . Been crying since i woke up now . Why ? Mum's missing . I mean for real this time . She haven't return since yesterday . Gosh I'm worried . Kak ayu and along are searching for her now . And lodging a report . Sigh . Im dead worried :'(

What could get anymore worse than this ? Im scared . I mean , MUM . My mum . :'(

Should be optimistic .
Well , i 'fainted' just now , before entering the toilet . I guess im too weak . Sigh .

I don't know what I should do .

Okay, ima open my eyes , be positive . Yes , stay optimistic .
Chill .

Note to Self : Breathe .

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku , sesungguhnya hanya pada mu ku meminta . Tenangkanlah hati Ibu ku , dan semoga dia pulang ke rumah . Ampunilah segala dosanya . Aku mohon kepadamu Ya Allah .
Amin .

Twentieth

2009-11-30T14:43:00.000-08:00

Hello Kuku Readers !
As ya'll can see I changed my blogskin . The time now is exactly 0645 and im not the least sleepy . Insomnia much ? uh huh . Well , Im bored , famished eventhough I had my latesupper already . Hey , you're looking at a thin girl with a big appetite okay ?
So yes , I've edited the skin still not satisfied , but I can't be bothered .
Well , i don't know what to do now seriously .
I guess I shall switch the comp off that has been running for HOURS , and slack on my bed while play my iPod touch . That should be it I guess .

Well , right now , yes im still having those mixed emotions that just wont bug off me , but hey , that's life . I shall not dwell on it that much . Perhaps , what I did today was a good start in keeping my mind off these games . For a start , have fun . Yes , how long must I go on being that fucked up morose emo girl who cries every single night to sleep and knowing the next day will be another dreadful one . Mind my vulgarity . So , no more being weak , yet . Hahs . you go Girl ! Im sure Abang will be proud of me once he reads this . Right ? Im so blessed to have him . I mean , being able to make me happy at the same time caring for me ,and having numerous confabulations with me , I mean , finally after 14 tedious years of living , I get to feel a real Brother's love . Awww , Sasha sweet kan ? Heeh . Seeeeeee Mr Alfiyan , I'm starting to praise myself . That's another step I shall take . Making myself feel good . He has a point . :D Im smiling while posting this .I must change my paradigm. I shall not be upset and so . I shall live my life to the fullest . *shakes butt * Three cheers for me !
Yeay !

And to all my girls out there especially Izza,
don't be sad . Love is a wonderful thing afterall , cherish it , as it's hard to come by .
Live life to the fullest bbygirls .Cause life is short . cherish it . Okay ? Smile . You sweethearts look amazing with a smile . Trust me , have fun . Laughing is the best medicine indeed . Yknw , I will always be here for you sugahs out thre . Often , we look up on an apotheosis . So why not be one ? I mean , yes nobody's perfect but we can make ourselves close to one right ?Don't let trepidation get in the way . Sooner or laater serendipity will hit upon us and voula ! We're good :D So girls , there is a Raison d'etre , So SMILE ! Love ya'll !

And right now , Ima focus with my life and those who made it a splendid one . Thanks loves .And to all you people out there who finds it so disgusting seeing me happy ,well , listen to me ,by all means , fuck off .

Yea , im feeling so happy . And relieved . It's sooooo good to be back . I mean after all these times , finally , im feeling happy .

But hey hey , happiness doesnt last . Well at least for miine , I hope it will . i deserve it mayne .

Thanks to those who believed in me . Who never fails to cheer me up and knock my head to come to think of it . Thanks to all . Well , it's definitely a good start for December . Please be nice oh Mr December ? i mean , at a adolescent age , i should be enjoying not frowning . So , it's time I shrugg off all those worries and all , and break out . Ima be happy :D

when i felt that i wasn't alone , there's always that someone who will always stand by me giving his infinite support . When i felt down there's always that someone who will always bring me up no matter how contented i felt . Thanks , Abang . I love You :D

And not forgetting , my LB . eventhough we are drifted apart now , you guys will always be close to my heart . Wansuay .

And to all , yang sewaktu denganye , heh , thanks yeah :D

I feel like im reciving an award . But these sweethearts really deserved to be acknowledged . :D

Finally , for now , I shall laugh myself to sleep watching those videos .

Shall stop pondering on stuffs that hurts .

THREE CHEERS !

Lol .

Much Loves ,
your one and only
Sasha Chulun .

mwaaaah !

Nineteenth.

2009-11-30T12:56:00.000-08:00

Today was hell fun . Woke up at 4 . The house was in a total mess really . So , I decided to clear the kitchen . Job done . Joined them karaoke . Showered , went out with Avi and Abang Zul :D So we trained to town . Sent Iqa off to Brother Razmy . It's as if we kidnapped her to the van . Kayy scrap that . Well by then it was already 9 I think ? So went in CashStudio . Opening Song was by me and Brother Zul . Guess what song ? Tiga Malam by 2by2 and Siti Nurhaliza . I was like , What the hellll?!?!! I can't start with this song mannnn . Hahah , but , im surprised I can pulled off the high notes . Haha , okay . So then we sing sing sing .I LOVE LAH OKAY ! WHEEE ~! Karaoke till 12 . HAha , yes midnight . It was crazy , from jiwang to clubsongs to dangdut to rock to hip hop . HAhaha , craziest was we danced to the song Just Dance .Funny liao . Our voices was drown . We blasteed the music . and sang our heart out . I LIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE . Hehs . 3 hours of singing , was freezing cold lah can . AHhaha . Videos will be posted soon I promise . Cabbed home . Reached home at 1 plus . Hangover .

MrKambingGoatBizkutSecondhandTinggiPujiDiriSendiri ,
*shakesbutt**flickshair*

Hahaha , I enjoyed today .
Chatted with that Kambing , Atiqah Kay Baby and Beloved Abang Syaz .

I;m missing alot of people and say what ? Schools up in amonth . DAMN IT !

Eff Off November , Holla December !

o.0 Am i falling in Love?

MR GOAT !

2009-11-29T10:55:00.000-08:00

Sasha
hello mr goat . Hehs .
; uhm , can I ask something ?
2:12am
Muhd Alfiyan
wat mr goat!???!!
haha
okk yar ape?
2:12amSasha
hehehehehehe :D
ape tu achillies tent ape entah lah
2:13am
Muhd Alfiyan
haha! asal ni? pasal syaz eh?
hahaha!
2:13amSasha
betol betol
eh jangan bilang die . hehe
2:14am
Muhd Alfiyan
haha! achilles tendon is the part kat blkg kaki
2:14am
Sasha
tak serious kan ? heh
2:15am
Muhd Alfiyan
atas heel
ermm... utk kes die tak serious ah
2:16am
Sasha
; ooooooohhhhh , bagus bagus . Hehs . :D
; thanks eh mr goat :D
:P
2:16am
Muhd Alfiyan
i go tell syaz ah
HAHA!
2:16am
Sasha
; EH !
; wlaowei . hahahaha
2:17am
Muhd Alfiyan
hahaha! tau pon takot eh!
hahaha! tau pon takot eh!
:P
2:18am
Sasha
; hehehehehehhehehe , yelah biskut .
; kambs betol .
2:20am
Muhd Alfiyan
weii!! grrrrrrrrrr..... nanti sondol baru tau!
2:21am
Sasha
; hehs , sondol lorrrr . shakes butt
2:21am
Muhd Alfiyan
wahh!! garang eh!
2:21am
Sasha
; heheheehehe .
:P
eh i link you at my blog can ?:D
2:22am
Muhd Alfiyan
u got blog ah?
wah
kk can larr
hahaha
2:22amMuhd Alfiyan is offline.
2:22amMuhd Alfiyan is online.
2:22am
Muhd Alfiyan
wats ur blog?
2:23am
Sasha
jakon ! hahahahahaha:P
; my blog eh .
2:23am
Muhd Alfiyan
ape sehh jakon?
haha
2:24am
Sasha
; u got blog ah?

wah
haha jakon what .
2:25am
Muhd Alfiyan
k wait. what u planning to link me??
2:25am
Sasha
uhm , space goat . nooo , uh , Mr kambs , nahh , uhhhh , MR Baa Baa ? hahahahahaha
2:26am
Muhd Alfiyan
hahahaha!!! wahh!!! rabak seh aku kene!!!
2:28am
Sasha
haahahhaha
2:28am
Muhd Alfiyan
wah! i saw frm syaz blog u got so many blogs sehh!
wah!!
2:28am
Sasha
then want put what ?
jakon !
itu smue karat already what , ,tak pakai
2:29am
Muhd Alfiyan
wah! enlighten me pls!!! i bingung tau!! haha
2:29am
Sasha
hahaahhaha okay okay
http://dead-lyaftermath.blogspot.com/
; only thisone . and another private one .yang laen , all , karat . Haha
2:31am
Muhd Alfiyan
hahahha!
asal dah karat?
tak jae eh?
jage*
jage*
2:31am
Sasha
' noo ! :P
2:33am
Muhd Alfiyan
hahaha
ok lah! lagi bnyk lagi best kann??
2:33amSasha
kayy im random .
2:33am
Muhd Alfiyan
hahaha
2:33am
Sasha
; yahhhhhh , but lagging , menyirap jekkkk .
2:33am
Muhd Alfiyan
memang slalu!
tu lerrrr
eh jgn skip2 words boleh tak?? mr goat otak pon mcm goat tau... kecik!
2:35am
Sasha
huh?
now my otak like kambs
2:35am
Muhd Alfiyan
tau pon
ok finally a sentence which i understand
thanks!
hahaha
2:36am
Sasha
wth . HAHAHAHHAHAH
what only this goat
2:37am
Muhd Alfiyan
haha
2:37am

Sasha
baa baaa
; ehhh , IF you bisit my blog , tag eh 1
*visit
HAHAHA
2:37am
Muhd Alfiyan
how to do that?
jakun ah
hahaha
2:38am
Sasha
; ape jek !
; ISH !
hahahaha
; tag lah tag lah ! hahahah
2:38am
Muhd Alfiyan
ouh!
okkay
nari mlm otak pon slow ah
nari mlm otak pon slow ah
2:39am
Sasha
; HAHAHAHAHA . jakon-man
; HAHAHAHA , nari malam my otak high . bong bong ! haha
2:40am
Muhd Alfiyan
hahahaha! dah lah. kambing ni dah ngah stone
nak tido
gi tido ah
pompan2 tak bagus tido mlm2 tau!
hahaha
2:41am
Sasha
; ahaha , cannto sleep ah , da due hari tak tido
; like zombie lah
; hahahaha
; gi tido ah
2:41am
Muhd Alfiyan
ahaha
:D
2:42am
Sasha
; hahaahha a bye superstaaaaaaaaaaar !
*coughs
2:42am
Muhd Alfiyan
bye ah! jage nanti mlm kambing haunt u den u know
2:42amSasha
nah nanny poo pooo ! :P
2:42am
Muhd Alfiyan
eh bye ah! thanks ah!
2:42amSasha
hahaha bye
nights
2:42am
Muhd Alfiyan
yes! at least ade superstar yg panggil i superstar
wheeeeeee!!!
2:43am
Sasha
; YES I LIKE THAT SENTENCE !
hahaha okayokay , go slp lia superstar

Abang ! This solely proves how good i am as a sisterr and I WASNT MENGUMPATING GOSSIPING AND WHATEVER ING ABOUT YOU .

jage ah kambing . I take back my words ah . Baa baaa . betol . Ish ! hahahahahahahhahaha .
And finally , this convo and all , makes me smile . FINALLY PEOPLE ! Wheeee .

Muhammad Syazani
SocialInterview.com asked me "When was the last time you viewed Sasha Chulun's profile on Facebook?"
I answered ''Yesterday morning =)''
34 minutes ago via Social Interview · Comment · · See Wall-to-Wall · Interview Me
Muhd Alfiyan Zaihan
stalker!
33 minutes ago
Muhammad Syazani
banyak kau nye stalker
33 minutes ago
Sasha Chulun
; mr goat ! What only !!!! HAhahahahahhahahahahhahaha . baaa baaa
30 minutes ago · Delete
Muhd Alfiyan Zaihan
-.- mr goat sia kene.... rabak pe..... sedih ah :(
26 minutes ago
Muhammad Syazani
wahahahaha padan muka kau =P
26 minutes ago
Sasha Chulun
*shakes butt * Hahahahhahahaha , alalala , kay ah , mr kambs . Chill lerrr . hhehehehe .

Pa-dans . nah nannny poopooo
25 minutes ago · Delete
Muhd Alfiyan Zaihan
eh syaz! kau patut support aku sia.... member lame buat camni....
19 minutes ago
Muhammad Syazani
hahahahaha..member tetap member tapi part ni nye comment war,aku support the other party..wo hoo!!
16 minutes ago
Sasha Chulun
; HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH , kesian superstar . Ish ish ish . terkuek kuek :P Nah nanny poo pooo . you cannot catch me. HAhahahahahahhahahahhahahahah
16 minutes ago · Delete
Muhd Alfiyan Zaihan
haha! jage korg... nanti mlm2 aku summon spirit kambing haunt korg baru tau! haha.

ok ah superSTAR mau tido ah! nanti superstar ni tido lambat2 muke cepat tua. nanti tak laku!

at least ade pelakon jugak yg acknowledge aku superstar... kwn sendiri buat bodo.
13 minutes ago
Muhammad Syazani
hahahaha lalalalala merajuk pulak..kla kla superstar(karat) =) aku acknowledge ha..
10 minutes ago
Muhd Alfiyan Zaihan
karat tu tak perlu ehh!

btw syaz! sasha tadi bnyk mengumpat psl kau kat aku. mcm2 die critekan........ haha! gd nite everyone!!!
8 minutes ago
Sasha Chulun
; ehhhhhh alfiyan merepek eh . Wlao ini kambing . I take back my kata kata / NO MORE SUPERSTAR AH ! kambing betol !
7 minutes ago · Delete
Write a comment...

Older Posts

Insomnia

2009-11-29T10:23:00.000-08:00

Insomnia much .?
Sheeesh . Sleep lah sha , sleeeeeeeeeeeep !
Don't let those scary thoughts overcome you lahhhh !
Ass betol .
Sheeeesh kan ?
Okay , im boredddd . Yada yada yada .

Solemnly declare .
No more love , no more games .

PEACE

aisyahhh single mingle ready to jingle .
Kayy that was random ! Hahahaha .

Jom Flirt ~! Nahhh .

Whatever eyyy aisyah . Stop lah ! i going buga buga already .

baaa baaaa .
mooo mooo
oink oiink .

kay shush .

Efun

2009-11-29T07:23:00.001-08:00

I swear today was very wrong and different . In every way . FYI , my mum is missing . And I'm serious . She always do this and never fails to get me worried . Tsk . And I'm missing hotstuff ALOT ! Really . It feels so wrong and weird to wake up without getting ' morning sayang ' and no more night calls . It's like something is missing . I didn't thought I would miss him THIS much okay . Sigh . Kak ayu sleeping over ibu house that means I'm alone with avi and iqa . I'm planning to watch love guru online after this . ^^
If not any other movies that can keep mind occupied . Hotstuff sayang come back quick .
Imy dear !! :'(

I have so much in my mind right now :'(

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Fifteenth.

2009-11-29T01:20:00.001-08:00

Hello . I'm pissed off , frustrated , tired , sleepy , missing him , jealous . All kinds of emotions that got me tipsy turvy . Darn . Im still not on good terms with Kak Ayu . gave her my upmost attitude this morning , and she got fucked up . Serves you . * evil smile * I told you , don't try me . I'll give you hell . Well , supposed to be at chalet right this minute , but due to my hatred towards Kak Ayu , I just can't face it okay ? Sigh . Thanks eh for putting me to shame . _|_
It's just so irritating . Don't provoke me . You haven't see the worst of me . Yet .
Remeber , the last time you saw wthe worst of me was when I kicked your bloody tummy . That's only the beginning eh . You don't know me well , Sis .

Well , I wonder what's Hotstuff's doing now . Sigh . One week siul . How to survive . Sheeesh .
Well , Now at home , with Avi and Iqa . Hehs . so far no fights nothing . Stay that way .
Texting A now . Sigh . Kite friend friend je lah okay ?

I don't know . But the feeling in my heart is still erupting . Sigh . What to do man . hahs . Well I'm sleepy . Didn't sleep since yesterday . Sucks lah . Okay chao !

Thanks for the overwhelming response to Rindu Raudhah . Glad ya'll loved it .:D
Here's the video clip .

I lay my love on you .

Fourteenth

2009-11-28T10:54:00.001-08:00

Its 15 minutes to three and God knows why I'm awake , i'm waiting for my hotstuff's message or at least a call . He's leaving at three as said and he promised to inform me ! B ! Where are you ? :'(
Talked to him just now otp and tears just naturally flowed . One week is a big deal baby . I'm sooo gonna miss your fucking sweet voice that never ever fails to melt me , gonna miss your jokes , your teases . Who's gonna kiss me thru the phone when I'm angry ? Who's gonna comfort me when I'm down ? Who's gonna take care of me ? Who's gonna entertain my crazyness ? Who ? Tsk , bottom line , Im gonna miss you big time ! Come back quick , pretty pleaaaase , I beg you eh b . Tsk , I'm scared . I'll pray for your safety , I'll look at your hot body and cute face every single day , obviously Ima cry . Standard .

Just return home safely . And remember you promised to call me first thing when you reach sg , I'll wait dear .

Uh , I feel like crying .

I love you eh botak .
One and only Erfan Ahmad ku !

Don't think too much people . Not what you think it is .

Edited :

I can't stand it , I miss him already ! Hell yeah I'm worried . Baby come back quick . Baby don't go :'(
You were the ONLY one who could stand my behaviour , be it when I'm too crazy , stubborn or sad . Of all the guys , you are the only one that is still standing by me against all odds . Tsk , don't leave lah . No more daily night calls and kisses . :(
No more ' b , you cute sangat lah '.
No more ' tetap aku sayang Kau kentot '
No more ' iloveyou b . Mwah !'

For a week only I know , tell me about it .
Torturing ah . A minute past three . You're making me worried lah ! Haiyo .

Remember to eat well when your there . Don't be too naughty . Don't flirt ! Mostly , always remember your sayang always love you lah okay ?(:
Takecare takeare takecare .

Iloveyou botakkkk !

:'(

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thirteenth

2009-11-28T04:07:00.001-08:00

Yesterday Raya was great . I had a brilliant time with them cousins . hahaha . Ended up we all lepak at Pioneer Mall's Macdonald . Hahaha , we laughed as in we owned the place . Hahah . I had truckloads of fun . Hahs . Actually there's not much that i can story cause I m very lazy and aint in the mood yea . Hahahha . :D

Well , Im moving on . I guess ?

Oh whatever .

Hahahaha . Well , uhm , right now Ibu's over at my place . I mean their family . And im on the verge of crying because , Erfan is living for overseas . :'(

Im gonna miss him loads . I swear ! Yesterday was otp with him till 3am . From 11 pm . Hahs . Had fun lahh ! I love you Botak ! Come back soon please please . :'(

Salam Aidiladha

2009-11-27T04:34:00.000-08:00

Well today is the special day , and eventhough a family problem cropped up , between mum sis and along , i made a point not to bother . I mean , i dont want to meddle in their affair . Haha . So had a splendid time with them cousins really , and now i dont feel like getting along with my family . Not yet . Idk why , we are are woodlandsstarbucks now and if i dont get to watch my telemovie i swear im gonna give them a piece of mind . Fuckswear watch me .

I couldnt care less bout you A . _|_

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Salam AidilAdha

2009-11-26T11:59:00.000-08:00

Much fun with them Sanziro !
Update tmr !

The time with you , makes me hate you more A .

Tenth.

2009-11-26T01:19:00.000-08:00

Changed of url . Hehs , wanted something more , deadly , mind me . Hahaa .
Slept at 7 am yesterday , I couldn't control my emotions . The shiver that ran thru my spine was overwhelming . Spooks me to the damn core okay .
So I had quite a fun time with Sis . Hehs . As usual . Well woke up at 2 just now . LOL . Then cleaned the house . :D The pest-man did their fogging thingy and my house , no , the whole resident is filled with roaches . Well it doesn't affect me cause Im not afraid of em but what disturbs me was I had to get rid of em which was tiring being the only onee who is not afraid of em . But it's fun , I get to pick the roach up and scare them . Haha , Fun !

I found an unusual one , pure white . Picture with Sis .
And now , just chillin , going Ibu house later for kenduri . I soooooo don't wanna go .
Cause A is gonna be there andd I bet Faqih too . Pretty please . let me off !
I don't want to gooooooooooooo !
I can't think of any excuses now . Really .

Shit .

I ma get ready now .

Sometimes Love Comes Around , And They Knock You Down Just Get Back Up When They Knock You Down .

Irresistable

2009-11-25T10:40:00.000-08:00

New Skin .
Im bored . thus I had the urge to redo my blog . Must say this wasn't and overwhelming result but it still satisfies me and that's all that matters .
Today was fast I guess . And , I deleted my previous post regarding PA cause it just spooks me .A L O T .
Pass all that , went to the hospital to visit nenek . Alhamdullilah she's feeling better right now . Her face is so fresh . Im so relieved and happy . I love my nenek so much . Hehs .
After which , since everyonw was complaining on their upset tummy , we proceeded to Al Azhar which Along strongly insisted that it was called Al Falah . -.- . So confident . Haha . And we ate alot . really . Seafood was the menu for tonight . So yeah , Im full , Alhamdullilah . BURP . Hehs . Proceeded home . By then it was 11 . Im pissed with Erfan . Big Time . Nevermind , i still love you Botak !Well so now , there's so many things that is going on that I don't even know where to start with . The best solution is , i should just keep my mouth shut andnot reveal anything . At least for now . Haha .

One thing . Im stuck with this temporary number . And the best part is this , I don't have an unlimited usage of SmS . WHY ? CAUSE IT'S PREPAID . & it sucks to the damn core , mindyou . Sigh .

And I Broke rule Number 1 . I can't resist it . I texted him . I was having fun . Smiling . Sigh . Im betraying myself . Im sorry , Abang :'(
I need something strong and effective to kick me out from this habit . Shit.

Me and Faqih are back to normal . Friends . Better that way . I Like .

Now where's my Mr Botak . ?
Soooo gonna get a spanking from me . Idiot

And you can see my heart.. beating
You can see it through my chest
Said I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving

So just pull the trigger .

Forgetting.

2009-11-23T23:09:00.000-08:00

tting.
It wasn't a peaceful sleep .
It was full of you .
Just tell me , tell me now , how the fuck do I get you off and out of my mind ?
:'(
Crying myself to sleep every single night , is torturous .
I wanna forget you . Big time . :'(

This pain is killing me softly .
Somehow , my idiotic hands touched the screen of my iPod and I googled " How To Forget A Guy ?"
Pathetic Much , yes indeed . And so , I read on and on with the numerous responses of hundreds of people dealing with the exact same situation as me . Maybe I got a little too caught up with myself . I was so gushy on him . I went beyond the borderline of sanity . I need to forget him pronto . There's no way am I gonna live a life wishing and hoping and never get anything . I don't want to be losing the touch of love if this goes on . How long must I suffer ? every single night , was painful . To the extend where I'm afraid when nightfalls .

Forget the times he made you cry. If you continue to feel and experience the pain of the times he hurt you or broke your heart, or the instances when you shed your tears, then you will be buried in that deep hole of regret, of self-pity, or absence of self-worth. He said and did awful things to you, it may have a reason or not, it may be intentional or not, but then it's already said and done; it's over. Move on. Forgive and forget.
Forget the way he spoke your name. You may have the most common, generic, ordinary name in the world, or it may sound silly or nasty, but it would sound so special when spoken by a loved one; it seemed like a music playing, a love song played over and over again in your ear. Just like any song, it will have its end. When the music stops, you can play it over through your head, but it remains ended. Don't force it to continue.

I will be loving you long time .
I don't know how , but I've fallen for you .
Major Love Crisis .

The song I wrote . Oh nevermind , forget it .

Should start meditating now . Gonna find inner peace .

I want you so badly , it's my only wish .

True Lies.

2009-11-23T11:55:00.000-08:00

IF ONLY we were together
IF ONLY you know my feelings were true
IF ONLY I was wiser
IF ONLY I could say I Love You♥

I WISH I'm yours
I WISH you loved me too
I WISH you realised
I WISH you said " I Love You Too "

MAYBE you loved me
MAYBE now they're history
MAYBE we could be together someday
MAYBE we're not destined

SOMEHOW I insist you knowing it all
SOMEHOW Love-Luck isn't on our side
SOMEHOW I think you loved me too
SOMEHOW I can't stop thinking of you

I GUESS this is the end
I GUESS these are all just fantasies .
I GUESS Ima fool
I GUESS It's time I forget you

AFTER ALL I knew it can happen no
AFTER ALL you don't react similarly
AFTER ALL you're someone else's
AFTER ALL we don't belong together

DESPITE ALL I Love You ♥
DESPITE ALL I Still Love You ♥
DESPITE ALL Yes I Love You ♥
DESPITE ALL I Do . ♥

Pure words that came from my heart . The urge to note it down in the middle of night bugs me constantly . I don't know what was I thinking . How can I forget him ? It's withering me bit by bit . It's torturous . And time's running out as often as it does . And often dictates you can't love me back . But fate can't break this feeling inside , that is burning up through my veins , I really need him . I really want him . I wanna be his number one . Somehow this constant feeling just refuses to burn . Go away . Please . I hate this mixed emotions . I hate all this confusion .

I was determined and all ready to finally let you off my mind . When at that particular moment , in the van , you were directly in front of me , and thruout the whole journey , you were staring at me . Right at that moment my heart sank so deep . I couldn't hold it any longer . I love you♥ . From the field , in the van , to Ibu's crib , you knew well , we were looking at each other . My eyes locked to yours , the same goes to you . Boy , I Love You♥ . I can't forget you , A♥ . No , I cannot . :'(

Only you, will be in my mind everyday .I'll serve you in whatever way.Its only you my baby its only you. Listen, Those beautiful brown eyes .Melts my heart, I cant deny .Even when you're gone for sec, I can't imagine without you.I'll miss you baby, believe me when I say I love you . The heart you trampled on , is still beating towards you . Doesn't matter how hard I try to forget . Even when I try to contact other guys , the moment I turn around , I only think of you. I don't want to do this , I want to stop. However much I try to convince myself , it's all an hopeless effort , cause my heart won't listen . Why did you throw it away ? Why am I still acting foolishly? I can understand it with my mind , but my heart just don't get it . It's holding onto you , won't let go .

Who ever I meet , my heart won't be fully open . It leaves a room for you always . There's no way you'll be mine. But my heart believes you might . Why does my heart believes ? Listen to my heartbeat , it's waiting for you. I can't understand why I Love You So Much♥ . It hurts me to think of you but at the same time , I Still Love You , A♥.

Every single minute of my life is occupied with thoughts of you . Nothing that I did stopped me from thinkin bout you . Every . Second . There's no one else but you , A♥. I really really love you :'(
How can I ever forget someone I loved so much .

Shit .

Eh eh, eh eh
There's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh
I wish he never looked at me that way
Eh eh, eh eh
There's nothing else I can say
Eh eh, eh eh

A♥

Pre-ceremony

2009-11-20T20:37:00.001-08:00

Everyone woke up kinda late today and of course it includes me too aye (: haha . So there were numerous calls to the telephone but everyone kept oblivious and continued sleeping :P
But then another alarm scared the jeez out of me . My sister , haha . So yeah without a choice , I HAD to wake up . Sigh . Haha . And now I'm really sleepy and it's so tempting to step on that comfy bed of mine . Sigh . Shall endure till NIGHT ! 0h noooo . Dreadfully , I gotta drag myself there , sigh .
Okay then . I shall go now . Hope I have fun !(:
If there is connection there , i shall update thru my iPod touch during the ceremony .

The whole night you filled my dreams

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Laughters.

2009-11-20T10:34:00.000-08:00

Seek attention elsewhere . Fuckswear i won't entertain .

Well , finally finally , after sucha long time , I had a real good laugh ! Thanks to them families and cousins . You people rock long time . Cheers ! Finally , like mann , i miss my old bubbly self . Sigh . Okay , trust me , the Sanziros are all gonna look down on me learning what happen . but hey , who cares ? I don't live for them whatsoever . Generally , everyone's gonna look down on me , but I don't give the slightest damn cause , why must I let all this bring me down ? Shame ? oh thanks for putting me to fame .Pfft .Why must I care about all the negatives when I should be prioritising my happiness . Right ? So , do what all of you want , say what you want , none of that gonna affect me . In the first place , you should REALLY mind your own business :D

Okay , so let's start with today . As you all know , I woke up like real late today . Haha . And so then showered up , got ready for the 'rewang' . I don't know how to translate it . LOL . And so , i thought it'll be alot of work , helpin out here and there , but yeah , i was wrong . LOL . Never trust first impressions . Huak . So , sat down with everyone , laughing . It was really fun . Imagine , me laughing hard , from 8 till midnight . Oh i swear I had a fucking good time man ! Woooots ! All the beloved cousins from Indonesia and Malaysia came down too . Miss them loads mannn ! Woooh , today was , soooooo fun . hahah . Really .
To the extend that my uncle said this .

" Aku dah 28 tahun tak ketawa macam gini tau . "
" I haven't had a good laugh for 28 years . "

I mean his old yea , but the last time he had this kind of fun was 28 years ago . Woah much . Hahs , gosh , finally I could feel that the family bond was still there . and hell yeah , we rock as usual .

Tomorrow , I already made plans , to karaoke all day long .
my family gonna bring the house down .
THE WEDDING OF THE YEAR AYE !
Wheeee ~!

Anak Anak Ramly Never Die !

Have to meet Dearest Erfan . He's missing me too much and that bugs me .

You stopped me from forgetting you , but the next minute , you ignored me . Explanation ?

Four.

2009-11-20T01:14:00.001-08:00

Can you please leave me alone ?

Well , yesterday night I slept at around 5 plus I guess . And yes it was Thursday night , and I was scared . I could feel 'it' . Sigh, I ran to my bed , plugged in my MP3 and cried myself to sleep , cause I was hearing songs from Backstreet Boys . Haha , So it made me teared . Haha . Well so , i woke up at 0430 pm . *shakes head * hah , i know that's not the way a girl should be acting , but i tell you , it was fun sleeping till late afternoon aye . Haha .

Sigh , and I woke up receiving a text from him trying to imply that I LIE . Oh for Heaven's sake , I have nothing to do with you , so please give me one good damn reason why I have to lie to you . Makes sense ? Well right now , as usual , everyone;s blaming me , sigh . It's okay , im used to it already . We have nothing else going on , so why bother ? Why ? Just , stop . Stop everything that you do , I don't want to have anything at all to do with you .

I cannot send any text messages nor make a call .
So that means , I can't contact Brother♥ and Erfan♥ . Sigh .

I don't know what else to do .

I'll be lovin you long time . ♥

Three.

2009-11-19T12:01:00.000-08:00

Sweet as can be

Alhamdullilah . Everything went smoothly . Congratulations to Kak Fiz and Abang Elfi . At last . But it's not the end . Saturday is the ceremony . Gonna be very tired I suppose . Well I had fun , i won't lie . Had loads of fun with them favourite cousins . Laughing , having the time of our lives . *laughs* And most definitely , I was working my tummy off , eating non stop . The food was superblicious . Spent most of the time just slacking laughing doing absolutely nothing . *slaps forehead*

The house was damn packed during the solemnization was taking place . And we were at the door , I was standing on the stool . They were sobbing , as they witness the ceremony , everyone was focused and tensed , and we at the back still can enjoy ourselves with the mouthwatering cakes , laughing , it was funny really . I loved that part .

Although some misfortune things happen , somehow yeah , it dampers my mood but , it doesn't matter really . I don't feel affected in one way or another . So I can't be bothered .

See , I really hate my i-don't-care attitude . But , it's wrong if i choose to care or not . Neither way I'm wrong . So , let loose , I won't get myself to be bothered . Frankly . Not that I don't want to but , it's much better if I keep my mouth shut . :x

So after the ceremony , went off at about uh , I couldn't remember . Truthfully , I didn't carry any device with me at all , so I couldn't keep track of the time or who called or texted me. ICBB . ( I can't be bothered ) Haha .So after that went to Jalan Dermawan , met stepfather . Seeing my sisters having a great time with their father , just saddens me . I miss my father so much who's now missing .
I wonder where you are now ?
You promised to meet me , I waited for you , you didn't came . Instead you ran away . Whatever it is , I pray that you are safe , cause i love you .

Sigh .

So reached home . Washed up . Dead beat . But still insist on using the computer . Told ya , this computer will be fully ultilised by me. And was on the phone with , Erfan♥. Had fun . Talked alot . From random to serious . Cried over the phone , comforted me . Sweet . Thanks Dear ♥ .
Cheers !
I love you Botak ! ♥

Till now , im not sleepy . Sigh , so many regrets unravelling . Thousand lies . I just can't handle it .

Im leaving you . PLEASE , refract from doing anything that reminds me of you , for a start , by looking me deep in my eyes. *cries*
Ima cry myself to sleep now .

If you want me , don't play games , I promise I won't say no . ♥

Two.

2009-11-18T23:19:00.000-08:00

All my family members are all hyped up for the wedding today , their costumes are well ironed , accessories picked out , and I'm here just got up from my sleep , yeah i woke up at 230 today , still have yet to wash up , nothing is ready . Even my bedroom is in a total mess thanks to the little rascals we have here . I'm so tired . Imagine if you were to wake up and the first thing you saw was a messy room . Im so tired . Sigh .

And now , the problem between me and faqih still has yet to be solved . Idk lah . There's no problem already , but faqih's mum brought it up back again . Oh whatever .
Im too tired to bother about all of this yknw . Sigh .
Everything is settled already why they have to bring up back ?
Bottom line , we're off . I don't have anymore feelings for him , he has , so be it . I won't entertain .

Shit .

Hello.

2009-11-18T11:09:00.000-08:00

This is my public blog . But shush , im keeping it low . So kindly just read , shut up and leave okay ? Sorry , don't mean to be harsh , I just don't want things to go haywire . Please , thankyou :D
Read on , stay tune for more aye readers ?
Love Ya'll !